Relics' surprise finale

Against the managers wishes and words of encouragement, a stretched 8 man team resign them selves to an assumed embarrassment against the Allstars and forfeit tomorrows game.

Loyal supporters although understanding were saddened as they will not get another chance to see the Relics redeem them selves against their home nemesis till next year.

When the going gets tough...

...the tough get going. Wear'e loosing guys left, right and centre. Whats happening?

Maybe we can make them an offer they cant refuse and forfeit.

YEAH RIGHT!!!

Remember we only need 7 to play the game, I have faith in you guys... do us proud.

Line up 17 take 2

Relics Find Tossils Hard

Relics / Tossils matches are always hard and tough affairs and the match on Saturday was no exception. Despite losing 3-0 the Relics pushed hard for the full 80 minutes and can feel proud of their efforts.

The opening ten minutes were evenly contested with the Relics moving the ball around the park with enthusiasm and purpose. The Tossils, whilst not a one man team, continually looked for the Gus Bus at every opportunity. The Gus Bus, however, was being well managed by Blackbeard who was given the tough assignment from Crowch to mark the gangly striker.

Midway through the first half the Relics were looking good and really putting it to the Tossils. The Tossils were becoming increasingly frustrated. Shadow was temporarily concussed after being unceremoniously smashed to the ground by an angry Tossil. Bung was barrelled by an equally violent act. These tactics soon paid dividends with the Gus Bus scoring from close to goal after several Tossils bustled their way forward into the box finding the feet of their striking sensation.

Ten minutes later the Tossils had their second goal when again the Gus Bus was allowed to turn and shoot 15 metres from goal.

The second half saw the Relics lift, trying hard to claw back a goal or two. Overall Blackbeard did a fantastic job in trying to stop the Gus Bus. Whizz worked well with Howler, Hat, Banker, Axe, Darchinyan and Crowch in attack. Statue, Toe, Bung, and Shadow were resolute in defence.

The match was a great hit out in preparation for our last match of the season against the Superstars on Wednesday night.

Bex

Ahh....it's all good now.

I feel the force, with me it is.

This Wednesday game (17 take 2)

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Ground
Wednesday	1-Sept	18:45	DOY	G45	KDS	PLUIM2 - Pluim Park 2
Wednesday	1-Sept		BER	G45	BUD	Home Team Forfeit
Wednesday	1-Sept	20:15	GOS	G45	AVO	PLUIM3 - Pluim Park 3
Wednesday	1-Sept	20:15	KIN1	G45	KIN2	PLUIM2 - Pluim Park 2

Please be at Pluim field 2 by 7:45pm.

Other results.

KIN1 3 GOS 1
BER 1 DOY 1
BUD 5 AVO 0

Too bad guys..

We lost 3 - 0 against the favorites for the minor premiership, and it means we are out of the finals.

We would have still be in contention had we not been penalized 3 points over a badly written rule. Instead Doylo Wolves go in 4th, a side we beat, lost and drew with... good luck to them ...'KICK BUTT DOYLO'.

Coach's 3 points go to Wheats.

Footage of Posh seen leaving Hats party

Mr Anonymous

Line up 21

Is Pete our Admiral Ackbar ? Star Wars- Our New Hope.

Most of us are definitely of the age to appreciate the Bankers match report in Star Wars style. It set me thinking, OK to have all these heroes, Yoda, Obi Wan, Skywalker , Solo etc , but what about the brains behind the outfit?

In reading Wookiepedia about the Star Wars, I was reminded of that classical strategic genius, Admiral Akbar who was the Supreme Commander of the Alliance Fleet. Our Relics version is surely Pete and when I read that Akbar was a Mon Calamari ,who as a people are described : "they were known for a near-legendary quality of being both determined as well as dedicated. This meant that once a Mon Calamari decided on a course of action, they were not easily swayed from that decision. As such, they had a great deal of enthusiasm and spirit which was often masked by their quiet, orderly exterior. " Pete to a T !

Then when I saw the picture I knew Pete was Mon Calamarian!!

This weekend (21)

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Ground
Saturday	28-Aug	12:00	BER	G45	DOY	BERK2 - Kurraba Oval 2
Saturday	28-Aug	13:00	BUD	G45	AVO	BUD1 - Budgewoi FC 1
Saturday	28-Aug	13:15	KIN2	G45	KDS	KIN2 - Frost Reserve 2
Saturday	28-Aug	13:15	KIN1	G45	GOS	KIN1 - Frost Reserve 1

Please be at Frost field 2 by 12:45pm.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (RELICS-ALLSTARS WARS II)

The day dawned bright and for some the adrenalin was pumping. The Rebels (Relics) not so fresh from a tough victory over the Smugglers the previous day drifted slowly to the starting line for the much-anticipated kickoff of Relics-Allstars II. Missing from the line up was the eternally young Yoda (Shadow) and C-3PO (Posh) who had coincidently also missed the previous encounter.

For the second time in the competition these two goliaths of talent were scheduled to meet in game two of a weekend double header. Is there no respect for the aged? And like some of the great sequels in history the match was billed to be better than the first for at least this time the Empire (Allstars) had also battled the previous day.

Not unlike the first round encounter the Rebels started well despite the obvious tiredness and conducted several downfield raids early on. One attacking foray resulted in a well taken corner by the dashing Lando Calrissian (Blackbeard) seeing the ball drift towards the penalty spot and after being deflected by a Stormtrooper falling fortuitously at the feet of Obi-wan Kenobi (Banker). Most uncharacteristically for an ex-defender Obi-wan struck the ball sweetly through the crowd beating the obviously unsighted Man Mountain to give the Rebels an early lead, stunning his teammates, the opposition, spectators and betting agencies alike.

Shortly after the Rebels again pressed forward until a battling R2-D2 (Darchinyan) was unceremoniously hit from behind by a Stormtrooper after bringing down a nice through ball into the Empire penalty box. The referee had no hesitation in pointing to the spot. His penalty taking prowess once again on show up stepped Luke Skywalker (Whiz) who using the force carefully placed the ball low and to Man Mountain’s right securing a two goal advantage for the Rebels.

The Empire though shocked seemed all the more determined to right these wrongs. The game fluctuated for some time before an unfortunate raging Princess Leia (Dallas) committed an indiscretion some 25 meters out and almost straight in front. A well placed free kick combined with a likely unsighted Boba Fett (Smokey) saw the Empire drag one back before half time.

Somewhat satisfied with the first half effort and the 2-1 lead the Rebels regrouped at half time extolling each other to keep the work rate up.

The commencement of the second half saw the clearly rattled Empire take to the field with 13 players, a desperate attempt to shift the balance in their favour. It is understood that they had been told to start with the same line up as the first half and whether it was a Jedi mind trick or short term memory loss from early onset dementia it seems at least two Stormtroopers remembered starting when clearly they were but extras. The referees view was somewhat different and he mentioned educational shortcomings with poor numeracy skills when they endeavoured to correct the error by 3 players going off. Football is played by teams of 11 and the balance was eventually restored.

The second half was a torrid affair and the Rebels struggled to get into the game with the Empire dominating possession. Both young Skywalker and Lando worked tirelessly in the midfield but the onslaught persisted and as the half progressed the desperation of the high flying Empire became more evident with the chatter amongst the team becoming fiery at times. The pressure exerted on the Rebels finally told mid way through the half when the Empire drew level.

So to did the physical action intensify as the contest continued and as in the first round encounter the Empire again conceded 2 yellows cards for unwarranted rough play. Some spectators were heard to say a couple of the Stormtrooper tackles should have seen straight red cards but the referee was lenient.

Finally after a valiant defensive effort the Rebels conceded a third goal and whilst the lead had changed, the attitude of the Empire hadn’t with continuing heated discussion amongst them and at times directed at the Rebels.

Tragedy struck the Rebels late in the game when Han Solo (Wrecking Ball) the stalwart of the defence suffered a horrific collision and was helped from the field with chest pains. Whilst normally reliable for 80 minutes Wrecking Ball was encouraged to take a break and as though encased in carbonite sat quietly until the ambulance arrived to convey him to hospital for treatment, and good news is it’s only bruising. The situation was clearly emotional for Chewbacca (Howler) as he was heard to lament the loss of his drinking buddy when the esky did not have change for a $20 and he would have to drink the lot.

Passions run high in the club and so in summing up Relics-Allstars Wars II it was a 3-2 victory to the Dark Side and it is hoped that the next meeting, in 10 days time will be better for the Rebels.

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

The Banker.

Budgies Plucked

The events of Sunday’s match have tended to overshadow a tremendous 3-0 win by the Relics over the Budgie Smugglers on Saturday. It was the first time the Relics have beaten the Smugglers

The Relics went into the match against the Smugglers brimful of confidence after some strong recent performances. The old adage that a champion team will beat a team of champions was never more apt than in this match. To a man the Relics were there to support one another and this led to some wonderful team play right across the paddock. Despite dominating the first 40 minutes, the half time score was 0-0. The writing, however, was on the wall. It was only a matter of time before the Relics’ dominance translated into goals.

Banker continued his great form up front. The Relics first goal came after Banker got his generous melon to a corner kick. The ball, rather than deflecting to the intended target (the goal) fell to the feet of Darchinyan who made no mistake punishing the ball into the back of the net. Banker pressured the Smugglers defence for 80 minutes. This pressure paid huge dividends with the man with the money booting home two goals himself. A deserved man of the match performance. Banker celebrated heartily post match knocking back more cans of Pepsi than he care to remember. Interestingly some keen Relics watchers have noted that due to Bankers shift up front, the Relics’ defence and attack have both been strengthened!

The backbone of good attack is good defence. This match was no exception. The real work was done at the back. Smokey, Wreckin’ Ball, Statue, The Toe and Crowch were impressive. They withstood, with ease, everything the Smugglers threw at them, turning defence into attack with either scintillating runs forward, or laser-like precision passing.

The mid-field also impressed with the Wyong Whiz combining well with Shadow, Howler, Bung, Tolly, Wildthing and the Hat to pressure the beleaguered Smugglers.



With their bums well and truly wiped the Smugglers left the field at the final whistle a beaten brigade. No doubt they will remember this loss and will look to atone when next we meet.

Well done team!

Bex

Captains Comment- Take Two- Relics Hold your Heads High.

Whilst not retracting from my previous post match comments, which weren't written in the heat of the moment, but after careful consideration, I'll submit a match review. I have read none of the comments about my other post and don't intend to. Magnetic north shifts, and compasses need to be aligned to true north, the same applies to moral compasses, and any reassessment is welcome.
Yesterday we were beaten 3-2 by a team of very good footballers, who have earned their current second spot, and proved it by twice coming back over the weekend from 2-0 down, the mark of a very good side. As Relics we proved we are good enough to match it with the best, having scored 5 goals over the weekend against two top four sides. Our defence, attack and midfield were all superb yesterday.

Due to injuries and absences, many of us were forced to play outside of our accustomed positions, yet played them well. Pete's rejigging of the setup to suit our respective opponents is working very well. Yes there were many scrambles in defence but no soft goals. Pullos free kick was a ripper, worth travelling to see. But also worth travelling to see was the way each of us stuck to our guns and played football, despite our tiredness from a tough win the day before. Our midfield worked their bums off against a very talented team, the forwards looked (and proved) dangerous and the defence was organised, frenetic and tough.

I'm proud of each of you and look forward to continuing the good form into the match against the Fossils next weekend.

Other results.

BUD 2 BER 0 (forfeit)
AVO 2 GOS 1
KDS 3 DOY 0

Relics down 2 - 3

Brave effort, we played well against a side who has some of the best players to have played for the club.

Goals - Dave G., Ian.

Coach's 3 points go to Ian.

All thoughts go to Rob who was taken by ambulance to the hospital from the park after receiving what looked like a bad chest injury.

Line up 10 take 2

Other results.

Avo 1 Kds 4
Doy 2 Gos 2
Ber 2 Kin1 6

Relics stay on form.

It was against 10, but will still take the 3 - 0 against a side we've never beaten.

Goals - Vic, Dave G., Dave G.

Coach's 3 points go to Dave G.

Thank You Relics

Hey guys. I'm back home now and just wanted to say, thank you for your thoughts during my recent operation. The flowers were lovely and the delivery boy was too ! Thanks Crowy! If I'm well enough I will be there to cheer for you on Saturday (although not as loudly as usual!). Rosanna

Line up 20

This weekend (20) & (10 take 2)

Saturday

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Ground
Saturday	21-Aug	12:00	AVO	G45	KDS	AVO1 - Erina High School 1
Saturday	21-Aug	13:00	DOY	G45	GOS	DOY1 - Doyalson RSL 1
Saturday	21-Aug	14:00	BER	G45	KIN1	BERK1 - Kurraba Oval 1
Saturday	21-Aug	14:45	KIN2	G45	BUD	KIN2 - Frost Reserve 2

Please be at Frost field 2 by 2:15pm.

Sunday

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Ground
Sunday	22-Aug		BUD	G45	BER	Away Team Forfeit
Sunday	22-Aug	14:00	KDS	G45	DOY	KDS2 - Edsaac Oval North 2
Sunday	22-Aug	14:00	KIN2	G45	KIN1	KIN2 - Frost Reserve 2
Sunday	22-Aug	14:15	AVO	G45	GOS	GOS2 - Gavenlock Oval 2

Please be at Frost field 2 by 1:30pm.

Other resuts.

KIN1 4 DOY 0
KDS 4 BUD 0
GOS 2 BER 2

3 - 2 we win again.

3 great goals from the Relics and 2 unlucky goals against.

Goals from Max, Statue & Dave G.

Coach's 3 points go to Dave G.

Wags Update

What an overwhelming response to the ladies end of season event!!!!
A date has been set - 20th November. Not sure yet if it's for lunch or dinner.
Watch this space.....
Sharon.

Line up 19

Training Indoor Tonight 8-9pm

I have booked Peninsular Indoor for training 8-9 tonight. Please text me if you can't make it.

Training off.

Gosford Council has closed the field for today. Pete, is checking indoor availability.

Round 17 against the Allstars has been reschedule for the 1st of Sept. midweek between the last game of the season and the finals, which is not going to please any finalist.

Man U search for new manager

Man U are on the lookout for a new manager following the shock resignation of Sir Alex Ferguson.

It is understood that Sir Alex has nominated Bex from the Kincumber Relics as his 'heir apparent'. In a press release Sir Alex said "look at Bex's record - 100% winner!" Whilst Bex was not taking phone calls today it is understood that he will reject the $30m contract electing to stay with Relics until they win a premiership!

Craig Foster

This weekend (19)

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Saturday	14-Aug	12:00	KDS	G45	BUD	JUB1 - Jubilee Oval 1
Saturday	14-Aug	13:00	KIN1	G45	DOY	KIN2 - Frost Reserve 2
Saturday	14-Aug	14:45	GOS	G45	BER	GOS2 - Gavenlock Oval 2
Saturday	14-Aug	15:10	AVO	G45	KIN2	AVO1 - Erina High School 1

Please be at Erina High field 1 by 2:40pm.

Coach Bex Retire's after only One Game

As controversial training and motivational methods were discovered by the club and for fear of future training and games, post-match the team unanimously voted for Coach Bex to stand down.

Relics’ Crush Cavemen

The Kincumber Relics’ have finally scored some goals to record a decisive 4-0 win over the Gosford Cavemen in the match of the day at Frost Reserve. In front of a highly vocal crowd the Relics’ combined attacking brilliance with steadfast defence to send the visitors home battered, bruised and beaten. It was especially satisfying for the boys in maroon and baby poo yellow after the Cavemen had ‘got away with one’ in their last encounter. The Relics’ now have the Avoca Gumbies in their ‘cross-hairs’ looking for revenge after a dismal second half display in their last match.

The Relics’ took to the field with a spring in their step, clearly buoyed by the opportunity to play under master coach Bex for the first time. Bex’s leadership was inspirational. He led from the front and came up with a team line-up that was able to execute with swiss-watch precision. Sadly, Bex’s coaching career has ended as quickly as it came, announcing his retirement post match. All eyes will again be on Crowch next week!

With star players all over the field several dominated. Statue stunned the vocal and partisan crowd the several ‘runs’, squashing rumours that he had lost the capacity to move. Darchinyan, obviously clean winded after clearing his throat, looked menacing every time he touched the ball. Howler with wolf-like tenacity launched run after run only to be denied glory with some pitiful shots on goal. Banker, too, looked the goods on many occasions until it came to the actual shot. The Wyong Whizz again had a strong game and like the ‘Hayne plane’ no look pass, the Whiz has taken the fake shot-pass to a new level. Dallas who is having ‘roid problems on several levels had an anxious start to the game when it was revealed that Tolly had swapped his Agarol with his Dencorub. This accounts for Dallas’ red face (and red arse) and burning desire to chase the ball like a retriever. The Hat in a comeback after injury looked solid. Shadow looked very comfortable at sweeper while Bung showed glimpses of the form that won him the o/45s player of the year in 1983. Smokey, who kept a clean sheet over the weekend, actually had an opportunity to complete the SMH cryptic crossword in goals such was the strength of the Relics’ defence.

Overall it was a very pleasing performance.

On a disappointing note the Budgie Smugglers forfeited their match against the Kincumber Superstars. The Smugglers have a long roster of players and it is disappointing that one of the competition frontrunners couldn’t find it past their own arrogance to field a team. Week as wee water!
Bex

Other resuts.

DOY 2 AVO 0 (Avo forfeit)
BER 0 KDS 2
KIN2 2 BUD 0 (Bud forfeit)

We are on a comeback.

Bring on Avoca!

4 nil win, could have been more had some players been wearing their good shoes.

Goals Greg, Vic, Dave & Ian.

Coach's 3 points go to Statue.

News Flash

Budgie smugglers have forfeited their match today against the Kin 45A1's

In yesterdays stoush with Budgewoi, Gosford had one player taken away in an ambulance and another player badly tore a hamstring.

I am sure we are still in for a hum ding game

Meanwhile rumours abound about the Budgie smugglers, are the feathers flying as their side implodes?

Nil all Bore Fails to Enthuse Crowd

The Relics’ have failed to enliven a hearty crowd at Frost yesterday with a nil all draw against the Doyalson Wolves. The Wolves sit in fourth position and on yesterday’s performance will struggle big time in the semis if they make it.

Crouch will be hoping for a more enthusiastic performance from his beleaguered Relics against the Cavemen in today’s blockbuster. The match begins at 2.45 and will be the main Sunday feature at Frost. The Hat also disappointed with the performance yesterday has assured Relics supporters that the match against the Cavemen will be a ‘goal feast’. Hopefully he was referring to the Relics and not their foe!

The Relics’ failure to finish was again the main problem against the Wolves. So desperate were the Relics in attack that Banker and Wreckin’ Ball were both moved forward in a vain attempt to score goals. Unfortunately the move backfired with both men looking out of their depth. Hopefully their defensive skills have not been tarnished by their forays into the attacking zone. It is clear that Crowch needs to do something to fire up the forward line – maybe he needs to heed the advice he was given by the great Sir Alec Ferguson!!

To be fair several Relics were carrying illness/injury into the match:
Darchinyan was complaining he was short-winded as he had “a bit of Flem caught in his throat” [actual quote - ask Darchinyan]
Howler caught a bout of ‘kennel cough’ from one of the opposition wolves prior to the match.
Whiz was strapped up like ‘Paleface Adious’ and resembled a broken down trotter as he hobbled his way around the field (and somehow still got the 3 points) much to the delight of his supporters from Wyong.
Statue was still carrying a fat lip from the match against the Superstars.
Shadow is still recovering from his cosmetic surgery.
Dallas’ ‘roids were still giving him some problems (haemorrhoids not steroids).

Despite the tame draw several Relics looked sharp. The athletic Smokey got airborne to deny the Wolves a goal in their only shot on goal. Wild Thing, always the innovator, used the surprise tactic of a midfield bomb late in the match in an attempt to break the deadlock. The Toe was ‘johnny on the spot’ on numerous occasions to quell the Wolves’ attack and Bung looking spritely as he turned defence into attack.

Hopefully this correspondent will have some goals to talk about from today’s match!

Post Script: In details just to hand the Tossils have firmed dramatically in competition betting after savaging the Superstars (2-0) and the Cavemen spanked the Smugglers 6-0 at Budgewoi! It is understood that both Tossil goals came after defensive errors from Diamond Reid. There are rumours that Diamond is on the outer with his team which explains his presence at the Relics’ match yesterday. Is he trying to sure up a gig for 2011? He will be disappointed!

Bex

Attn: Wives of the Relics

Ladies, I'm sure your all aware of and support the end of season trip in November but why should they have all the fun? We've been there week after week showing our true love and dedication. Don't we deserve a little fun? Who's in for a ladies end of season event? Perhaps a civilised lunch, a shopping trip, and/or night in town???? Anyone interested let me know by email: sharon.towler@bigpond.com.au

Guys please be nice and pass this on to your supportive and caring wives and for some extra brownie points open your wallet up and support our little event...

Shazza.

Other resuts.

Bud 0 Gos 6 (wow!) Correction - Bud 6 Gos 1
Kds 2 Kin2 0

Avo 4 Ber 2

Are we coming back?

After four losses a 0 - 0 draw is not what we needed but may be a change of form.

Coach's 3 points goes to Ian.

(Crow'ch has requested the tally of points to be removed from the Blog and he will not reveal the 2 and 1 points winners, so as to keep the coach's player award a surprise) 

Line up 18 & 9 take 2

Saturday

Sunday

Darchinyan Gone Missing

Vic, where are you????

Sat:
Keeper : Tony

RB : Dave C
LB : Grant
Sweeper : Dave G
Stopper : Rob
RM : Shadow
LM : Greg
CM : Ian, Wheats
Strikers : Vic, Tolly

Bench : Peter, Phil ( submid), Max, Brian ( Subback ), Statue ( SubS )

Out: Flemo

Sunday:

Keeper: Tony
RB: Statue
LB: Brian
Sweeper: Shadow
Stopper : Max
RM: Greg
LM: Flemo ( ?)
CM: Ian , Phil.
AM: Dave Gray
Striker: Vic

Bench: Peter, Wheats, Dave C, Grant, Tolly

Out: Rob.

Striker

What! No team format this week!...then I assume I am striker!
Becks

Training - Indoor

Due to continueing bad weather, training this week is at the indoor court ( Peninsular Leisure Centre ) Thursday 6 to 7. Sorry if you can,t make this time, it is the only time I could get.

This weekend (18) & (9 take 2)

Saturday

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Saturday	7-Aug	12:00	KDS	G45	KIN1	JUB1 - Jubilee Oval 1
Saturday	7-Aug	13:15	BUD	G45	GOS	BUD1 - Budgewoi FC 1
Saturday	7-Aug	14:45	KIN2	G45	DOY	KIN1 - Frost Reserve 1
Saturday	7-Aug	15:00	AVO	G45	BER	AVO1 - Erina High School 1

Please be at Frost field 1 by 2:15pm.

Sunday

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Sunday	8-Aug	13:00	KIN1	G45	BUD	KIN1 - Frost Reserve 1
Sunday	8-Aug	14:00	BER	G45	KDS	BERK2 - Kurraba Oval 2
Sunday	8-Aug	14:30	DOY	G45	AVO	DOY2 - Doyalson RSL 2
Sunday	8-Aug	14:45	GOS	G45	KIN2	KIN1 - Frost Reserve 1

Please be at Frost field 1 by 2:15pm.