THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (RELICS-ALLSTARS WARS II)

The day dawned bright and for some the adrenalin was pumping. The Rebels (Relics) not so fresh from a tough victory over the Smugglers the previous day drifted slowly to the starting line for the much-anticipated kickoff of Relics-Allstars II. Missing from the line up was the eternally young Yoda (Shadow) and C-3PO (Posh) who had coincidently also missed the previous encounter.

For the second time in the competition these two goliaths of talent were scheduled to meet in game two of a weekend double header. Is there no respect for the aged? And like some of the great sequels in history the match was billed to be better than the first for at least this time the Empire (Allstars) had also battled the previous day.

Not unlike the first round encounter the Rebels started well despite the obvious tiredness and conducted several downfield raids early on. One attacking foray resulted in a well taken corner by the dashing Lando Calrissian (Blackbeard) seeing the ball drift towards the penalty spot and after being deflected by a Stormtrooper falling fortuitously at the feet of Obi-wan Kenobi (Banker). Most uncharacteristically for an ex-defender Obi-wan struck the ball sweetly through the crowd beating the obviously unsighted Man Mountain to give the Rebels an early lead, stunning his teammates, the opposition, spectators and betting agencies alike.

Shortly after the Rebels again pressed forward until a battling R2-D2 (Darchinyan) was unceremoniously hit from behind by a Stormtrooper after bringing down a nice through ball into the Empire penalty box. The referee had no hesitation in pointing to the spot. His penalty taking prowess once again on show up stepped Luke Skywalker (Whiz) who using the force carefully placed the ball low and to Man Mountain’s right securing a two goal advantage for the Rebels.

The Empire though shocked seemed all the more determined to right these wrongs. The game fluctuated for some time before an unfortunate raging Princess Leia (Dallas) committed an indiscretion some 25 meters out and almost straight in front. A well placed free kick combined with a likely unsighted Boba Fett (Smokey) saw the Empire drag one back before half time.

Somewhat satisfied with the first half effort and the 2-1 lead the Rebels regrouped at half time extolling each other to keep the work rate up.

The commencement of the second half saw the clearly rattled Empire take to the field with 13 players, a desperate attempt to shift the balance in their favour. It is understood that they had been told to start with the same line up as the first half and whether it was a Jedi mind trick or short term memory loss from early onset dementia it seems at least two Stormtroopers remembered starting when clearly they were but extras. The referees view was somewhat different and he mentioned educational shortcomings with poor numeracy skills when they endeavoured to correct the error by 3 players going off. Football is played by teams of 11 and the balance was eventually restored.

The second half was a torrid affair and the Rebels struggled to get into the game with the Empire dominating possession. Both young Skywalker and Lando worked tirelessly in the midfield but the onslaught persisted and as the half progressed the desperation of the high flying Empire became more evident with the chatter amongst the team becoming fiery at times. The pressure exerted on the Rebels finally told mid way through the half when the Empire drew level.

So to did the physical action intensify as the contest continued and as in the first round encounter the Empire again conceded 2 yellows cards for unwarranted rough play. Some spectators were heard to say a couple of the Stormtrooper tackles should have seen straight red cards but the referee was lenient.

Finally after a valiant defensive effort the Rebels conceded a third goal and whilst the lead had changed, the attitude of the Empire hadn’t with continuing heated discussion amongst them and at times directed at the Rebels.

Tragedy struck the Rebels late in the game when Han Solo (Wrecking Ball) the stalwart of the defence suffered a horrific collision and was helped from the field with chest pains. Whilst normally reliable for 80 minutes Wrecking Ball was encouraged to take a break and as though encased in carbonite sat quietly until the ambulance arrived to convey him to hospital for treatment, and good news is it’s only bruising. The situation was clearly emotional for Chewbacca (Howler) as he was heard to lament the loss of his drinking buddy when the esky did not have change for a $20 and he would have to drink the lot.

Passions run high in the club and so in summing up Relics-Allstars Wars II it was a 3-2 victory to the Dark Side and it is hoped that the next meeting, in 10 days time will be better for the Rebels.

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

The Banker.