Saturday, November 24, 2012

Kenny Calander's end of year form guide.‏

Once again the RELIC'S have commissioned form guru Ken Callander to follow up on his pre season tips with an update on how the RELICS performed in 2012 & his VERDICT on how each individual may perform in 2013.


BANKER BOY: A solid campaign by the old stager, probably carrying a bit more weight than he should, but always competitive. Probably needs to take the lead more often next year, could be the difference when it gets down to the nitty gritty end of the run.
VERDICT: GET BACK ON THE PISS!!!
BELLDALE BALL: Forced to run out of blinkers this season & wasn't always at his best. Needs to be given a clear path & watch him go! Likes to fire up the rest of the field & can handle a good whippin.
VERDICT: Treat him mean & keep him keen.
SULO STAR: Big improver for the year, running with much less weight, quick off the mark & breathing easier. Looked better to the fillies as well. Still a work in progress as he tries to get his legs to work in unison with his brain. Running all over the place may eventually take it's toll on his body, but considering he's done nothing for the last 20 years his body's probably as fresh as a 25 year old, which in horse years makes him frickin old.
VERDICT: May need to put some weight back on, is getting bounced by feather weights.
BLACK CROWIAR: SCRATCHED !!!
VERDICT: Waiting stewards enquiry.
TOE JAM: Reliable again, a bit one dimensional, may need to drop the blinkers and mix it up a bit. Certainly has the love of the crowd (all 4 of them). Also likes to get the colours off at every opportunity.
VERDICT: PLEASE keep the colours on !
BOLD BECKS: Stodgy at best, probably better suited to pulling a plough.
VERDICT: The less said the better!
SHADOW CHASER: Mixed up his campaign with the odd run & a lot of stud work, very much in demand with one particular mare. Looked a bit drained when the gates opened but always gave it a shot.
VERDICT: The stud work should dry up next season, expect to see him prancing thru the field.
RANGIRANGHOWLER: A gifted animal who can handle the long & short trips equally. A pleasure to watch when he pins the ears back (his & others). Unfortunately it seems the fetlocks are giving out, has an injury list to rival OLD SMOKEY.
VERDICT: May be his last race in colours, retire him out to stud.
MR BLACKBEARD: Runs a good race & always keen. Tends to put the head down however, and can lose his line, taking others out with him. Likes the adulation of getting past the post.
VERDICT: I'm thinking one of those bondage masks with the mouth bit in it could improve the problem.
AXE MARK: Pugnacious pony who likes it up front, easily lost when back in the pack & starts to pig root for no apparent reason.
VERDICT: Change of diet from the green can to gold can may extend his racing career.
HEAD BUTT: Early promise shown at trackwork did not materialise on the track, regularly missed Relic race meetings to run in other divisions. Certainly looked quicker when around the refreshment trough.
VERDICT: They shoot horses don't they?
VICTORIOUS: Little goer from previous years with plenty of form. A change of stables early in the year put his preparation back but he finished the year solidly.
VERDICT: Sowing his oats in 2013 may consume his new found energy.
OLD SMOKEY: Ran in a lot of different positions this year and didn't look comfortable in any of them. His best contributions were off the field managing the refreshments trough.
VERDICT: Could go down as one of the best beer bitches ever.
VERDICT: Look for a more relaxed Hat in 2013.
THE WHIZTHATWAZ: Always the one to watch..... when he turned up! Expected to lead early but never really got in to the race. A great pacer on his day and always has the attention of the rest of the field.
VERDICT: May look to greener pastures in 2013.
THE RUBBER ROD: Works best when well lubricated, unfortunately spent most of the year dryer than a nun's nasty. Has a distinct dislike to running which doesn't augur well when you consider the sport he's in.
VERDICT: Needs to get his head out of the chooffe bag and smell the roses.
DEBBIE DOES: Likeable rogue who likes to talk the talk, hasn't been seen if he can walk the walk yet, but hey ! I wouldn't want to ride him!
VERDICT: Needs a tight rein.
RED JAFFE: Burly animal running out of the same stable as THE WHIZTHATWAZ, lacks the same finesse as his stablemate and is prone to pig rooting when cornered.
VERDICT: Candidate for Perkins paste.
TONKA TRUCK: Running on memory ( what's left of it) showed glimpses of the old magic whenever he decided to turn up.
VERDICT: Needs to show more glimpses.
BELLADONTE: Late starter that never left the barriers all year. Asian trained & known to like a drink, this big unit is a stayer not a sprinter.
VERDICT: His lack of mobility won't be a problem.
Good luck to all the runners, have a safe & happy Xmas & we'll see what turns up on Derby Day 2013.
THE FASCINATOR: A trying year by any stretch of the imagination, showed plenty of heart under extreme duress and always put in a good run. Courageous effort !


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Hat and Wild Thing share

At the Shoal bay trip. our Steven "Statue" Dunlop Best & Fairest award was presented for the first time.  The award is designed to recognise contributions both on and off the field, and supporting the Relics spirit. The award was jointly given to Phil and Steve on equal votes from the panel.
The inaugural supporters award was awarded to Ida (see following story).

The initial "Balls Up" award was given in a narrow vote to Spaldo for his wonderful call of "dont worry I've got him covered" just before Ninja took the ball off him and scored. A honorable mention in the Balls Up was earned by Shadow at the weekend by getting the bias wrong on his bowl, not once, not twice, but four times!! in a row, talk about Alzheimers setting in.
Phil was voted in as coach for 2013 (Posh abstained so he couldnt be blamed for any carnage).
Grant volunteered Kathy to be BB as they are about to move to Kincumber, (Thanks Kathy).
Also Crowy initially volunteered to be Manager, but has subsequently realiased it won't quite work in with his kids football commitments, so we still need a team manager/ coordinator. A great weekend for all, not even spoiled by having Bella back !!
Next years trip date is decided, 8,9 10 November, weekend after the Melbourne Cup, so keep it free.

Ida Crys coz she misses you all !

For those of you who aren't aware Ida's health has deteriorated rapidly and after a recent visit to Tassie for work, she has decided to stay there. Her stuff has been moved down and she's living quite close to my sister. I saw her at the weekend and she told me how much she's been missing you all. I had taken a Relics top and told her I needed a photo for her 'boys'. Then I presented her with the inaugural Relics Supporters shield,the Rosanna Fleming Memorial award, which had been kindly given to me on the weekend away.

 Fair to say, she was chuffed and very sad but asked me to pass on her best to you all, (actually she told me to tell you all to get stuffed) but I knew what she meant. The shield has gone to pride of place on her mantle piece and she knows she has to give it back at end of next season. Thank you all from me as well. A wonderful tribute to Rosanna, who was always a strong (and quite vocal) supporter of the Relics and me. Especially thanks Crowie, a great way to support the Relics spirit.

Are we doing this again???