Relics’ Crush Cavemen

The Kincumber Relics’ have finally scored some goals to record a decisive 4-0 win over the Gosford Cavemen in the match of the day at Frost Reserve. In front of a highly vocal crowd the Relics’ combined attacking brilliance with steadfast defence to send the visitors home battered, bruised and beaten. It was especially satisfying for the boys in maroon and baby poo yellow after the Cavemen had ‘got away with one’ in their last encounter. The Relics’ now have the Avoca Gumbies in their ‘cross-hairs’ looking for revenge after a dismal second half display in their last match.

The Relics’ took to the field with a spring in their step, clearly buoyed by the opportunity to play under master coach Bex for the first time. Bex’s leadership was inspirational. He led from the front and came up with a team line-up that was able to execute with swiss-watch precision. Sadly, Bex’s coaching career has ended as quickly as it came, announcing his retirement post match. All eyes will again be on Crowch next week!

With star players all over the field several dominated. Statue stunned the vocal and partisan crowd the several ‘runs’, squashing rumours that he had lost the capacity to move. Darchinyan, obviously clean winded after clearing his throat, looked menacing every time he touched the ball. Howler with wolf-like tenacity launched run after run only to be denied glory with some pitiful shots on goal. Banker, too, looked the goods on many occasions until it came to the actual shot. The Wyong Whizz again had a strong game and like the ‘Hayne plane’ no look pass, the Whiz has taken the fake shot-pass to a new level. Dallas who is having ‘roid problems on several levels had an anxious start to the game when it was revealed that Tolly had swapped his Agarol with his Dencorub. This accounts for Dallas’ red face (and red arse) and burning desire to chase the ball like a retriever. The Hat in a comeback after injury looked solid. Shadow looked very comfortable at sweeper while Bung showed glimpses of the form that won him the o/45s player of the year in 1983. Smokey, who kept a clean sheet over the weekend, actually had an opportunity to complete the SMH cryptic crossword in goals such was the strength of the Relics’ defence.

Overall it was a very pleasing performance.

On a disappointing note the Budgie Smugglers forfeited their match against the Kincumber Superstars. The Smugglers have a long roster of players and it is disappointing that one of the competition frontrunners couldn’t find it past their own arrogance to field a team. Week as wee water!
Bex