Speaking of look-a-likes...

The following is a dead ringer for Mickledildo!

Lookalike

Whilst browsing a few old Who songs on U-tube and seeing Pete Townsend I had that eery feeling that he was about to yell on field instructions to me, it was then I noted the similarity of these two characters.
Agree, disagree ? Couldn't give a hoot?

Relics 2011 Form Guide

As season 2011 approaches, and after three pre-season training runs, it is time to run a form eye over each Relic.
2. Dukes – Was safe as a bank as sweeper but rumoured to be striker in 2011. Old Crow is looking for more strike power up front but will this leave a hole in defence – time will tell. Has looked sharp at training but still disappoints post match with his aversion to the amber ale. Will look the winner at some stage.
3. Wreckin’ Ball – Has trained hard in the off season with the Mundine camp and will be ready for any rough stuff that comes his way in 2011. Former hockey international who still goes for his stick in pressure moments. Could be in for a big year. One to watch.
4. Wild Thing – Has worked hard in the off-season and looks to have lost at least 40 kg. An imposing figure in both defence and attack. Has obviously been working with his brother-in-law on his skills. Gives no quarter and hates sulo bins! Will make his presence felt.
5. Old Crow – Almost unanimous choice as player-coach in 2011. Commands some respect. An old head on old shoulders. The Zvonimir "Ralé" Rašić of the 45s division. Picked up the nickname Old Crow, not because his surname is Crowson, but because he actually looks like an old crow! One for the multiples.
6. The Toe – Veteran defender. A smiling assassin who always arrives in the nick of time to thwart opposition attacking forays. A crowd favourite who lives for the limelight. Consistent. Look to him to have another great year. Sponsored by Kincumber Podiatry. Keep safe.
7. Becks – Superstar. The Black Caviar of 45s football. The one to beat.
8. Shadow – More starts than a Victa lawnmower. Aging tyro who maintains his zest for football. Spent the off-season on stud duties and seems to have grown an extra leg! Mentor to younger Relics. A team man in a team game. Look for the Shadow to lift the team when the going gets tough. Take on trust.
9. Howler – Turned 50 in secret several weeks ago. Makes him 9 in human years. Has an advantage in that he can lick his own nuts! Speed to burn but hampered in the pre-season with a hamstring injury – his hamstring beats 70 times a minute at rest! Might find the others too classy.
10. Statue – Shook of rumours about his sexuality by appearing semi naked, with hose in hand, in the 2010 RFS male calendar. Old Crow unsure whether he is better at the back or upfront. Fellow Relics have said neither! Loves having a shot and unflappable in defence. Look to him to again be a strong performer in 2011. Keep safe.
11. Blackbeard – A spirited Relic who has a fitness edge on his rivals. Renown for long piercing rapier-like runs in attack. Adds strength to the Relics midfield. Plundered a number of goals in 2010 and sure to do the same in 2011. A safe bet.
12. The Axe – Juvenile of the field. Runs like an injured razorback. A great team player who gives nothing less than 100%. Skills have developed markedly in recent seasons. Sports TAB have The Axe at $2.30 and favourite to be the top scorer for 2011. Has been banned from bringing his mobile phone on course. Watch market moves.
13. Mickledildo – Returns to the Relics after a year in the wilderness. Has become a full-time footballer in his quest to try and regain the central midfielder position for the Relics. Look to him to penetrate in 2011. Will have plenty of shots on goal but conversion rate could be a problem. Look for a spirited run.
14. Darchinyan – Reigning 45s Player of the Year! Light-flyweight. Pound for pound one of the best going around. Will appreciate working with Dukes upfront. Very pretty footwork and skills on the ball. Look to Darchinyan to punch a few in the back of the net in 2011. Market mover.
15. Smokey – 2010 rookie who has started 2011 where he left off in 2010. Had a memorable year in goals in 2010. Old Crow looking at his options for Smokey in 2011. Looks to be developing great defensive skills. A smokey for players’ player in 2011. Drawn a bad alley.
16. The Hat – Tasmanian who swapped the Sherrin for a Mitre some years back. Many think this was a silly decision – but not his fellow Relics. Rules the left side of the park! Has looked sharp at training. Look to him to dominate his opposing number. I’m sure we will be tipping our hats to The Hat in 2011. Up in the weights.
17. Whizz aka Beer Bitch – On loan from Wyong FC. Looks to have stripped fitter for 2011 and this should take some pressure of his ‘glass’ ankles. Pre-season form looks promising but will need to lift his game in the bitchin’ department. Shows promise but injury prone! Week to week proposition. Prefer to see.
18. Dallas – The enforcer. Had trouble with ‘roid rage in 2010. Still awaiting the analysis of the ‘b’ sample taken by CC Football at the end of the 2010. Could be scratched for the season. If this is the case the Relics will miss his no nonsense attitude. Fingers crossed that Dallas gets a start. Returning from suspension.

$100 Club.

Hi guys

We will be doing the $100 collection again this year, it will go towards ref fees and w/e away.  You can if you like pay in installments just see me to have your name crossed off.

Relic Drowns During Training

Despite being used to ingesting vast quantities of liquid, the Relics found conditions difficult during Saturdays get together. From the 42 degree heat, of the previous the weekend, we then had to cope with ankle deep water and pelting rain a week later. It would be fair to say we've seen most of mother natures underbelly. Coach Crowch, demonstrating his normal common sense, only got out of his car once everybody else was saturated. Howler used the tried and tested "my hammys sore" excuse to display the sartorial elegance of a mid thigh raincoat in a touching shade of blue. It was slightly gathered at the waist with a tuck at the back and was complemented by a fetching set of boots.

The rest of us got on with the game, but showed why the break is too long, as the touches were quite rusty, or did the water cause that? Wild Thing showed his future Manager potential (note that for next year guys) by setting up a shelter, but forgot to sandbag it!! New BB Wiz excelled although it was noted that he left the esky in the open, vulnerable to pilfering or cosmic rays. Note to BB, always keep the Esky protected.!!Next week same place, same time but without CapNHat whos going to visit his 402,000 relatives in Tassie.

Practice Matches- Keep these Times Free

Hi Guys.

As mentioned last Saturday, we have 3 practice matches scheduled for March as follows:

Saturday 5 March Kickoff 3pm
Saturday 12 March Kickoff 3pm
Saturday 26 March Kickoff 3pm

Opponents yet to be confirmed but we are hoping to play Gosford O 45, Southern 35C and Doyalson O 45.

Please note dates for your diaries.

Don't forget rego this Saturday and Sunday as well.

CapnHat

Reds Down Blues at the Bridge

Up 50 million pound from the sale of the little bull (thanks Chelsea) the Reds stamped their authority over a lack lustre looking Chelsea.
Go you Reds.
No need to comment Mick, just pack your Chelsea gear away!

Unamed Relic Collapses in Heat

An unamed Relic has collapsed after a two-hour training session in 45 degree heat.



The Relic, obviously feeling a little dehydrated, stripped bare to try and cool himself and collapsed. Luckily, Relic ambos Dallas and Blackbeard were on hand to provide the 'kiss of life'.

It is understood the unamed Relic quickly rehydrated with a dozen Tooheys and is looking forward to training next Saturday.