CCF answers questions...

Yes Crow'ch, to your new never go flat balls for training...

...and sorry Posh, its a no

This weekend (14)

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Saturday	3-Jul	13:00	DOY	G45	BER	DOY1 - Doyalson RSL 1
Saturday	3-Jul	13:00	AVO	G45	BUD	AVO1 - Erina High School 1
Saturday	3-Jul	13:00	KDS	G45	KIN2	JUB1 - Jubilee Oval 1
Saturday	3-Jul	13:00	GOS	G45	KIN1	GOS2 - Gavenlock Oval 2

Please be at Jubilee field 1 by 12:30pm.

Goaaaaaaaaaaaallll !!!!!

Started watching in 75, playing in 1998, my 13th season, and Wiz's goal on Sunday was the best I've seen live in any grade. Until the weekend it was held by Mickledildo in 98 when he had renegaded for a year to Avoca and volleyed a kickout back over the Roos keepers' head at Frost from about 35 metres, or maybe Archie Thompson at Bluetongue. But I've been checking the websites and the so called miracle volleys of Zidane, Mendieta and Robben weren't as good as Wiz's.

Wiz volleyed a corner. From the left hand corner, the kick was a hard hit curling right to left kick, hit with a right foot, and the ball was curling in . Not only did Wiz hit it sweet on the volley, but it was between knee and waist height when he got it and its smacked into the keepers right hand top net. At the time Wiz was about 2 metres outside the 18 yard box and about a metre on the other side of the line that would divide the pitch in half lengthways, so at least 35 metres from the corner kick and slightly on the right side of the field. He turned himself into Karate Kid to hit it.

If you want to see something similar (but not as good) then Google "best volley from a corner".

Mendieta v Barcelona. Wiz was slightly further out, the cross was kicked harder and he hit it into the opposite side of the net.

Scholes- Bradford v United, slightly further out, similar corner but hit it lower. Wiz still better.

Robben- United v Bayern. Easier corner, from same spot on ground, but not as hard and hit it into the ground, Wiz'z shot almost tore the net off!!

It might seem like hype, but those who saw it know it isn't. And it wasn't the quality of the corner, I hit them all like that!!

Relics Revel in Double Header (apologies to Hat and Howler)

Les Whiz at Logger Heads with Monsieur Crowch

Wreckin Ball Breaks Duck

The Relics have lifted after last week’s debacle against the Gumbies to record a spirited draw against the Smugglers and a solid 3-2 victory against a ‘new look’ Berkeley Vale outfit in a searching double header (sorry again Howler and Hat) this weekend.

Packing cut lunch and compass the Relics ventured north to Smuggler land with 12 and a half fit players (Darchinyan suffering from Rothman’s Lung) on Saturday, the first day of the double header (again, sorry Hat and Howler) to tackle the 2009 Premiers and 2010 flag favourites. The early exchanges were tough and torrid, with the Relics lifting to match their more fancied opponents. Whiz was combining well with Shadow, Pigeon (Coops) and Crowch to control the midfield. It looked only a matter of time before the Relics would hit the back of the net.

Unfortunately, despite their best efforts, the Relics strikers could not find the target. Dismayed by the number of near misses, backs stalwart and team strategist Banker whispered to Wild Thing “go forward young man and show them how it is done”. Immediately Wild Thing instigated a move from the defensive goal line, to finish in the six yard box at the other end to belt the ball past a despairing keeper. “That’s how it is done”, exclaimed a clearly jubilant Thing.
The Relics went to the first half break 1-0 leaders and all over the smarting Smugglers like a cheap suit.

Les Whiz Les Freak
All seemed hunky dory at half time until Whiz, drawing on his French heritage (great great grandmother on his father’s side) snapped. In scenes never witnessed in o/45s football before Les Whiz savagely attacked his team-mates and Coach!! He was heard to yell directly at the Coach: sac le bleu Monsieur Crowch, je ne comprends pas, je suis le meilleur donnez-moi la balle vous avez tous besoin. Coup de boules! Je suis d'ici’! With that Whiz shot through. Crowch reacted with equal vitriol! He yelled after Whiz and said, you pompous French prick from Wyong, hit the road and don’t come back Fizz. A shocked team then turned on Crowch threatening not to continue unless he apologised to Whiz. Captain Hat doing his best Patrice Evra impersonation took after Whiz, and after a short confidential conversation seemed to placate Whiz. It is not known what Hat said to Whiz but it has been suggested that Whiz blew up because he hasn’t got a proper number on his shirt. He is not happy with number 12 and not happy the numbers don’t match! With peace seemingly restored the remaining Relics agreed to take the field for the second half.

The Relics immediately began the second period where they left off and it wasn’t long before keeper - come midfielder Blackbeard got his shiny orb to the ball in the box glancing a solid strike from Shadow past a hapless keeper.

Extra Time Goal
The Relics looked the goods until the final 20 minutes when a torrent of possession led to a Smugglers goal. It seemed that every call went the way of the Smugglers in the second half as the Budgewoi Soccer Club Secretary, moonlighting as the referee for the day, did his best to keep his boys in the match. The referee has obviously watched too much World Cup football over the last week as the Smugglers managed to claw a draw through a dodgy goal in the fourth minute of extra time!!

At the end of the match Cowch praised the efforts of almost all of team, obviously still smarting from his exchange with the Whiz.

Relics Beat the Berkeley Vale Burglars
In the second match of the weekend double header (woops Howler and Hat) the Relics have avenged their first round defeat beating a new-look Berkeley Vale 3-2. Prior to the match the Relics witnessed a touching embrace between Crowch and Whiz, obviously peace had been restored. Apparently a flurry of midnight text messages between the two had cleared the air.

Mud Clod Nearly Kills Burglar's Keeper
The Burglars took to the field brim full of confidence after donkey licking the Kincumber Superstars the previous day. Despite this confidence, the Relics opened brilliantly controlling all aspects of play and after five minutes were up 1-0 through a deft strike from the diminutive Howler. Howler soon found himself in a similar position, but instead of piloting the ball through the sticks for a second goal he missed the ball lifting a clod of Fagan’s Park turf directly at the stunned Burglar’s keeper. The keeper copped a clod in the head while the ball dribbled aimlessly over the goal line. After this some Relics (in the back line) were heard to question whether Howler's earlier goal was a fluke!

The Relics continued to apply pressure, earning a corner at the 20 minute mark. Corner guru Captain Hat launched a tremendous ball directly to the Whiz at the top of the box. In a moment of sublime skill Whiz projected himself parallel to the turf before smashing a scintillating volley into the top left of the goal. Onlookers were stunned. The Burglars jaws’ dropped. Traffic came to a stand-still, and a passing dog stopped pissing midstream. Nobody, however, was more shocked than the Whiz’s own kids, except for the Whiz himself.

At 2-0 up the Relics were doing it easy, but in scenes reminiscent of the Relics’ capitulation to the Gumbies it wasn’t long before the Burglars had clawed their way back to 2-2. The Burglars first goal came after a opportunist cross which somehow found its way into the top corner of the net.

Relics Back Scores Second Goal for the Weekend
Not to be outdone by Wild Thing a day earlier, rookie back Wreckin Ball was keen to get his name on the score sheet as he skilfully manoeuvred the ball past the keeper. His excitement, however, was short lived when he realised the keeper was Darchinyan and he had scored the equaliser to bring the Burglars back to 2-2.

Blackbeard Seals Victory
The second period turned into a dour struggle with the ball being kicked from end to end as each side tried hard for the winning goal. With seven minutes remaining Shadow and Crowch combined to put a ball through to Statue, Tolly and Blackbeard who were camped near the Burglars goal. After a front of goal struggle Tolly and Statue paved the way for Blackbeard to steer the ball into the goal with his pelvis. Victory to the Relics!!

The entire Relics’ squad have dug deep this weekend, well and truly back in the hunt for premiership glory. Lets rissole the Tossils next week!!

Becks

Other resuts.

BUD 3 DOY 0

KDS 2 GOS 0

AVO 1 KIN1 4

3 - 2 we win.

Goals from

Greg, Ian & Wheats. (Rob got one too, for them)

Coach's points

Ian 3, Statue 2, Greg 1.

Line up 8 take 2

Thanks Coops

The one that got away, Thanks Coops for helping out and playing on injured, much appreciated. Yes a great effort by everyone especially in the second half with no bench and Vic battling the Flu. Also personal thanks for Statue and Wheats throwing on the keeper jersey and Whiz for rearranging his day to give us the first half..

Lets dust off the soreness and do it all again today.

How Proud ? THisssss PROUD

Last week I felt like the car.
Tonight I feel like the ball.!! We just needed an extra set of legs to hold them, Budgie, on their home pitch and they had full subs. Well done boys. The level of commitment was outstanding. For those of you who couldn't make today, you have missed our Dunkirk. We may not have won, but we exited with our heads held high. That degree of application when we were just totally spent was brilliant and I'm am so , so proud to have been your captain today.
Looking forward to Berkely tomorrow with our fresh legs back. No pressure guys LOL.

Other resuts.

GOS 2 DOY1

KIN1 1 BER 3

KDS 4 AVO1

So close

After leading all game, Budgie get the equalizer in extra time to finish in a 2 -2 draw.

Funny, I didn't know we got extra time!!!

Goals from Phil and Wheats.

Coach's points

Flemo 3, Dave C. & Phil 1

Line up 13

This weekend (13) & (8 take 2)

Saturday

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Saturday	26-Jun	13:00	GOS	G45	DOY	GOS2 - Gavenlock Oval 2
Saturday	26-Jun	13:30	BUD	G45	KIN2	BUD1 - Budgewoi FC 1
Saturday	26-Jun	14:45	KIN1	G45	BER	KIN2 - Frost Reserve 2
Saturday	26-Jun	14:45	KDS	G45	AVO	JUB1 - Jubilee Oval 1

Please be at Buddgie Field 1 by 1pm.

Sunday

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Saturday	27-Jun	14:15	AVO	G45	KIN1	KIN2 - Frost Reserve 2
Saturday	27-Jun	14:30	BUD	G45	DOY	FAG1 - Fagans Park 1
Saturday	27-Jun	14:30	KIN2	G45	BER	FAG2 - Fagans Park 2
Saturday	27-Jun	15:00	KDS	G45	GOS	KDS2 - Edsaac Oval North 2

Please be at Fagan field 2 by 2pm.

End off season weekend away.

Please let me know the weekends you can make for the weekend away a.s.a.p.

Accommodation will be booked on the week with the majority of players available.

	W-end	Oct	Oct	Oct	Nov
	Away	8 – 10	15–17	29-31	5 – 7
	Dave G.
	Rob	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Phil	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Peter	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Grant	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Dave C.	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Shadow	Y	N	Y	Y
	Greg	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Statue	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Wheats	?	?	?	?
	Tolly	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Max
	Victor	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Tony
	Steve F.	Y	Y	Y	Y
	Ian	Y	N	N	Y
	Brian	Y	N	N	Y
	Total	13	10	11	13

Crack the Code for the Match Report

Tllw urihg szou! Evib ufxpvm liwrmzib rm gsv hvxlmw! Kozbvw orpv kfhhrvh!

Klhs

Other resuts.

BUD 0 KDS 1

BER 0 GOS 0

DOY 0 KIN1 4

Backs good for 1/2 game.

After a exciting first half leading 2 - 0, we suffered 4 against to loose the game 4 - 2.

Goals from Greg and Wheats.

Coach's points

Greg 3, Ian 2 & Wheats 1.

Line up 12

Aussie...Aussie...Aussie

Noticed the unrest in the supporters.

C'mon guys we were never going to win this one.

Sure we got walloped and lost our best player but all we have to do is win the next two.

Oi...oi...oi...

This weekend (12)

Day	Date	Time	Home	Grade	Away	Gound
Saturday	19-Jun	13:00	BUD	G45	KDS	BUD1 - Budgewoi FC 1
Saturday	19-Jun	13:15	DOY	G45	KIN1	DOY1 - Doyalson RSL 1
Saturday	19-Jun	15:10	BER	G45	GOS	BERK2 - Kurraba Oval 2
Saturday	19-Jun	14:00	AVO	G45	KIN2	AVO1 - Erina High School 1

Please be at Erina High School by 1:30pm.

Blackbeard Cuts the Throats of Hapless Wolves while the Wyong Whizz Sizzles

The Relics have got their season back on track with a comfortable 1-0 win over the Wolves at Doyalson. It was a great team effort with the management committee of Crowch, Hat and Darchinyan grinning like Cheshire cats post match. Their grins grew larger when news filtered through that the seemingly unbeatable Kincumber Superstars were smashed by the Tossils and the Smugglers were held to a draw by the Cavemen.

Judged best on field, midfield danger-man Blackbeard wielded his cutlass like a pirate possessed. There was no bandanna today – no reason to secure his buccaneers on his buccanhead. The crafty old sea dog cut loose slicing his way through the Wolves at will. Wolf after wolf was left chasing their tail. He showed no mercy. His skills on the ball were a sight to behold. At times even the Wolves crowd stood as one to cheer in awe at his renowned signature runs. His passing was also exquisite – a worthy man of the match performance.

Crowch also saw merit in the performances of Darchinyan and the Axe. Crowch’s judgement was spot on. Darchinyan owned the right side of the field swooping on ball after ball with gay abandon. He exploited defensive weakness in his opposition with monotonous ease using his own unique brand of cunning and guile to underscore the Relics attack. The Chin was on fire. If Darchinyan can maintain this form he will be at unbackable odds to win a second (and successive) Central Coast 45A’s player of the year.

Darchinyan and Blackbeard were ably supported by plumber and part-time barman the Axe. The rain-forced layoff has obviously done the Axe a world of good. His kidneys, lungs and liver never better. He was everywhere in attack and defence. In defence he struck his opposition like an exocet missile. In attack he tore straight through any would-be defence. So dominant was his performance even the opposition players were pleading with the Hat to sub him from the game.

The match started in difficult circumstances when stand-in captain,Banker, lost the toss forcing the Relics to run into a gale, uphill and into a blinding sun for the first half. Remarkably, in the second half the wind stopped and the sun spent most of the period shielded by cloud. The pitch even seemed to level out. The Relics continue to be behind the eight ball conditions-wise in every match. Crowch must find a better tosser. It has been suggested that Crowch will call for a ‘toss off’ on Thursday at the conclusion of indoor training. Howler, who indicated that he has participated in such events before, has offered to bring the SAO – whatever that means.

It is also understood that Wreckin Ball and Wild Thing are keen to take on the tossing job and will be practising hard in the lead-up to the ‘toss off’.

Even though the Doyalson goals were oversize (1m too high) the Relics could only convert one out of their forty odd shots on goal. Howler managed to convert the Relics’ only goal after a goal-mouth scrap, but also missed two open goals at stages during the match. The attacking mid-field and strikers continually found themselves in goal scoring territory – but to no avail. Despite this Statue, Darchinyan, Howler and the Axe are forming a great combination. They are hunting as a pack.

In an encouraging sign, former Wyong flyer Whizz

enjoyed significant match time. Even though he pulled up a little sore in the left hamstring, Whiz is confident that he is approaching full fitness. This will be a blessing for the Relics as to-date Whizz has promised much but delivered little.

Shadow and Crowch had their usual solid games whilst it was again the Relics’ defence which reigned supreme. The Relics now boast the second best defence in the league, only one opposition goal behind the Tossils. Wild Thing, the Toe, Bung, Smokey, Wreckin Ball, Banker and Becks were resolute in the commitment to reject any attacking move from their opposition. Dallas in goals was sensational. Dallas turned back the clock, diving around like a 45 year old.

Finally, the Hat looked comfortable in the pre-match warm-up and he looks set to enter the fray once more in the coming weeks. This is great news for the Relics as it was feared that the Hat’s season was finished.

Post Script: Dallas continues to disappoint as Beer Bitch.

Becks

Was is Das? Is Verbeek German?

Bloody hell. What a shocker. The socceroos were hopeless. West Ham knew exactly what they were doing when they cut Neill. Too old, too slow and with a "Oh poor me mindset". He's too busy appealing to the ref for non-existent offsides instead of actually marking somebody. Its why West Ham got rid of him, he gives his keeper the heeby jeebies yelling at linesmen instead of playing football. With the ginger minge Moore perfecting the role of an aging out of practice (puff?) defender the Aussies continually had 5 defenders marking nobody. Chipperfield also had a shocker, giving his opponent way too much space. This could have been 8 or 9 - 1 (The Aussies should have got a penalty at 3-0). No Kewell, no Bresciano, 4-0 down and what do we do, bring on a defender already knowing that Ghana had won. Great !! Typical dour European mentality from Verbeek, lets huddle here and do nothing, hopefully things will just fix themselves!&$#**. No wonder Europe is a bloody mess, its a Central American laziness mentality mixed with good old fashioned arrogance, not what Australia needs in a coach. How to fix it, Pick youth, may as well set ourselves up for the next world cup now. Verbeek's going anyway , so piss him off now and let Arnold show us what hes going to (hopefully) do with the Mariners. Start with Holman, Beauchamp, Kennedy, Carney. If somebody can't run the 100m in 11.2 seconnds, drop them! Not sorry for the rant guys, but we may only win playing New Zealand.