RELICS FINALLY FIRE UP !

There's been a lot of talk around town lately as to why the new look Relics have struggled on the park. Suggestions that they needed to Gel had Tolley & Mick searching their kit bags for the KY Gel......... NO boys!!! not that type of Gel.... we need to gel as a team, keep that stuff for the trip away.
The disaster that was the Toukley game was erased slightly from the Relics minds last week as they put in a much improved performance against competition leaders Ourimbah baa baa to go down 1-2. Still not good enough in the eyes of all Relics, they knew they could do better. Training mid week was an arduous task not because it was physically demanding, but because no one could understand what coach Philby wanted everyone to do ! Most players just ran around in circles performing like circus animals while Ringmaster Philby cracked the whip.
Coach Philby always looking for the right mix within the team made some telling changes to the team in the hope of achieving that gelled feeling everyone is looking for....... put the gel away Mick!!!

 Moving Pullo back from striker to " the pocket" behind the strikers was a masterstroke designed simply to stop Pullo from whingeing, would it work?  only time would tell.

Starting the year with a massive playing list Philby was forced to ask for volunteers to sit out games,  whilst no one volunteered, it didn't matter because as per usual the old farts started dropping like flies thru injury and other old man related ailments.

Going into the big match against Kanwal the Relics were down to 2 subs, Philby sent out an SOS looking for a keeper to replace Brian, hold on ... wasn't Big Bob gunna play & save the day ? haven't we heard this before ? Regardless no one put up their hand and Ball was duly elected to carry the can, rumour goes that he was allowed to let the Budgie out on Philby's shoulder in return for playing keeper.

Game day and Ball is shitting himself about playing keeper.... sorry mate you can't let that budgie loose on the coach and expect to not meet your obligations.... Man Up Boy !!!... but he didn't....... soon as he heard Smokey had strapped on a prosthetic leg and was prepared to keep, Ball was outa there!

Meanwhile Pullo was doing his hair and dreaming about Poland, "I could have played striker for Poland, just change my name to PULLOWESKI and I'd be in hmmmm...... "wake up Mark" cried Donna you've eaten too much Kransky sausage & your gunna be late for the Relics game, get your sorry arse up there before Tolley takes your spot!!

The game started without Pullo and the Kanwal mob shifted the  the ball between themselves in an easy controlled manner, perhaps watching this the Relics took note and started to play with some control of their own. The Relics had their chances in the first half with Coops & Howler both going close to scoring, Howler, obviously not happy with the Kanwal keeper tried to kill him by continuously kicking the ball into him while he was on the ground.

Second half and Kanwal got an early goal, the Relics who were the most likely in the 1st half were gutted, not again ! The RElics needed to lift, they needed to hang in there and drag this game back! Running uphill  into a strong breeze and with sun in the eyes of the right side players it didn't look good.

It took a while but the Relics perservered & finally got the equaliser down the left side thru a great strike from Coops, following shortly after, PULLOWESKI the great Polish striker drilled a solid ball past the hapless keeper ( softened up by Howler) to put the Relics in front.

The final ten minutes were tense as the Kanwal boys threw everything at the Relics. The midfield & the backs combined in a great team effort to shut down what seemed like wave after wave of Kanwal attacks, Smokey was called upon to make one of the great saves to keep the Relics in front and did it well, activating the bionic spring in his prosthetic leg to allow him to jump higher than ever before and push a shot over the bar.

All in all the Relics played with much more determination and purpose, the backs were solid with Steve O leading the way, good to see Macca back  & Ball who was happy to be back in the backs cleaned his undies out and had a go. Dildo was strong in the middle &  despite a hangover Philby covered a lot of turf. Upfront Coops was always dangerous & Tolley despite the stone in his boot played well, particularly in the opening 20 minutes.

A much improved team effort, maybe some of that training is paying off, but still a long way to go. It's always positive after a win and easy to forget some of the crap we played, but hey we're old men trying to play like boys & you've got to expect some crap in there! We just need to stay positive with each other and play as a team and.......... give the ball to PULLOWESKI !!!!!

written by Howler with the help of PEPPERJACK SHIRAZ.