Relics’ Denied Deserved Victory

An appalling off-side call has marred what was a magnificent effort from the boys in maroon and baby poo yellow who drew 1-1 with the Tossils. From the outset of this match the Tossils undermined the confidence of the rookie teenage referee through continual cat calls, whinging and whining. The cranky grandfather act eventually worked for the Tossils when the Relics were denied a legitimate match winning goal by the beleaguered young referee late in the second half. According to one impartial onlooker “The Tossils were desperate. They were doing their best Greg Louganis and Matthew Mitcham impersonations at every opportunity. They hassled the poor kid in the middle for penalties. They got away with murder. The Relics should have won by four goals!”

The match was a very physical encounter with the Relics’ defence again leading the way thwarting every attacking foray from the Tossils. Apart from a penalty in the first two minutes of the match the Tossils never really threatened the goal again with Banker, Wrecking Ball, The Toe, Becks, Bung and Dallas resolute in defence. Alarm bells must be ringing at Shelly Beach as the aging Tossils are looking very much like a one man team.

The Relic’s first goal came after Howler passed the ball to Darchinyan after pouncing on a poor back pass to the goal keeper. Darchinyan converted the goal unopposed.

Whilst the Relics defence shone the forward line overall was disappointing. If the Relics are going to be a force in this year’s competition strikers Darchinyan, Howler, Axe, Blackbeard and Statue have to start finding the back of the net! It must be of concern to Crowch that the Gosford Cavemen have scored more goals in season 2010 than the Relics!

Mid Field Management
A plus for the Relics in recent matches has been the control of the midfield. This week Darchinyan replaced The Glass Slipper in the midfield and he combined well with Crowch and Shadow to secure the middle of the pitch. In the first round our control in the middle was abysmal. If we can secure the midfield the Relics should atone for the first round defeat at the hands of Berkeley Vale.

Match Points Controversy Continues
Many Relics have fallen behind 2009 O/45s player of the year Darchinyan in questioning Crowch’s allocation of match points. The situation was described by one Relic as “appalling”. The rumour mill is running hot! Some Relics are even suggesting that that Crowch is having ‘relations’ with another team member. This particular team member, who shall remain nameless, has given away two penalties in as many weeks and still gets the MOM points!! Whilst this scribe does not believe the rumour for one minute it must be said that “where there is smoke there is fire!”

Hat Injured
The Hat has looks to have a torn medial collateral ligament and could be out for the season. Hat suffered the injury during his inglorious ‘dive” midway through the second half. The injury was the result of the enormous torque he placed on his left knee as he as he forced his bulking head and torso awkwardly toward the referee to appeal, mid-flight, his argument for a penalty. It was a pathetic sight. C’mon Hat your better than that!

BB Continues to Disappoint
The BB continues to struggle big time in his vital beer dispensing role. BB had the audacity and gall to serve up hot VB to the thirsty connoisseurs of fine beer post match. It was a disgrace! BB appears that he is in over his head. BB looks to have bitten off more than he can chew. Team management – end this embarrassment now!

Becks