Next Trial Game.(CHANGED)

(Oldies V Youngish)

This Monday 2pm kick off at Narara Valley High School, Crn Fountains & Pandala Rds, Narara, against Kincumber 35d side.

In: Peter, Flemo, Vic, Tolly, Wheats, Brian, Shadow, Dave G, Dunlop, Grant, Phil, Tony.

Promoted: Evo.

Out: Ian, Max, Dave C., Greg, Rob.

Volunteer Ref: Mickledildo

Hey Dallas, they want to know were to send you the bill.

Test.

Which one is Max?

Anyone want one?

I'm sure you guys can think of more buttons to add on.

Training Saturday 3pm.

We are on again this Saturday at Terry Oval 3pm and there will be a trial game on the Easter Weekend possibly Monday. I will text you further info as well as update it on this site.

See you Saturday.

Ohh Well

Blackbeard & Dallas stood watching the battle in the unrelenting humidity resulting in a 2-2 draw...........they sighed and turned away, perplexed!

Crowch Questions Relics Fitness

Crowch (Darchinyan has suggested we make a compound word out of Coach and Crow) has questioned the fitness levels of a number of Relics, after many came to a standstill, in a 2-2 arm wrestle with the Gosford Cavemen.

The Relics hit the paddock amid mild Autumn conditions minus Blackbeard, Dallas, George Best, Becks and Maximillion. Becks lost his battle with a calf injury following a searching pre-match fitness test ordered by Crowch. Blackbeard and Dallas obviously moonlighting as car mechanics turned up mid-match in overalls. Besty turned up inebriated and in no fit state to play while Maximillion was again missing in action.

Despite the ideal playing conditions many Relics failed to fire with many running like their grandmothers during the game. If you look closely at the blog post from Darchinyan, prior to this report, what appears to be a still photo is actually 30 seconds of real-time video footage of the Relics play mid-way through the first half. At one stage the Hat’s mum said give me a shirt and shorts, that lot out there are an embarrassment to the Kincumber Roos. It was at this point that Becks gave old Mrs Hat a stern rebuke by backing up his comrades and letting her know, in no uncertain terms, that the Relics were actually playing above themselves!

The Cavemen were first to strike at the nine minute mark, through a well telegraphed movement down the Relics right side. Many Relics stood back expecting Statue to make the simple tackle on the Cavemen’s lumbering left winger. Inexplicably Statue went missing in action, this time not in a Port Stephens bay, but down a rabbit burrow. This miss by Statue left makeshift keeper Iron Gloves stranded on his line as the ball dribbled into goal territory. It was at this point several young kid’s playing on the basketball courts received the worst possible Easter surprise. As Statue emerged from the rabbit burrow one of the kid’s screamed in excitement, look over there it’s the Easter Bunny! No it’s not replied his mate, it’s an ugly old statue. At this point both boys scampered home wailing for their mothers.

Late in the first third the Cavemen played their famous ‘turnstile move’ working a play through Reckin Ball and the Banker to register a second goal against the hapless Relics. The Relics went to the first break two goals down, looking down and out.

The second third commenced with the Relics peppering the Cavemen’s goal. The Relics soon hit back through some cunning canine manoeuvring from Howler who squirted a ball past the keeper to register his first Relics goal, after some enterprising lead-up work from the Shadow. This spurred the Relics on. Wild Thing in his first full hit out for the Relics was wreaking havoc in the left midfield, the Toe put some judicious balls downfield, while the aging ex-legend Mickledildo began to find glaring gaps in the Cavemen’s defence.

It wasn’t long before Darchinyan was able to score the Relics equalizer. The goal, however, was scored under false pretences as the diminutive Darchinyan was at least four metres off-side when he loomed onto Mickledildo’s through ball to score.
The unluckiest player on the park was without doubt the Axe. He swerved, he veered, he sneered, he charged, he sashayed, he shimmied, he glided, he was dynamite – but to no avail. He just could not put a ball through the goals.

Becks

2 - 2 Draw.

(Click here to play)

Told you not to get exited.

Hey Tolly

My wife reckons you're not a plumber and I should call someone else.

I should be ok for Sunday trial - Becks

I pulled up a little sore in the heel after training on Saturday - but don't worry Relics I should be OK.

Sunday trial game.

Hi guys, second trial game is at Gosford High School against the new Gosford over 45s.

1:30pm Kick Off, please be there by 1pm.

Please let me know if you can or cant make it A.S.A.P.

(That includes you Banker)

Thanks to Posh and the Hat for organizing the game.

IN: Rob, Tony, Steve F., Shadow, Victor, Phil, Mick (kpr), Grant, Dave C., Statue, Tolly, Greg, Dave G. & Peter.

OUT: Ian, Max, Wheats, Brian

Coach Crow Trys to Ask for another Lap !

In an extraodinarily (and previously unprecedented togetherness) show of timing and unity the team reacted to Coach'c viscious suggestion that they try to run a second 50 meter jog.

Still waiting.

Well c'mon Flash.

Killarney Vale move to U/35D's

It appears the U/45s comp has had its first casuality. I have been reliably informed that the Killarney Vale team from last year (not the Tossils) has moved back to 35D's.

I have also been reliably informed that both Howler and Ball caused a sensation in the mosh pit at the George Michael concert...more to come!

Training Saturday 3pm.

Next run on Saturday, 3pm Terry Oval.

First injury of the season goes to Ian who has fractured his ankle last Saturday, I think it was when he raced for the last beer. Going for further x-rays on Friday will keep us in touch.

Hope its not this bad.

Coach Crow happy with sharp session

The 2010 Relics looked sharp in a crisp training session on Saturday. The boys pushed the ball around well with new recruit and relative youngster Ian (Boy) George impressing Coach Crow. Coach Crow pleased with what he saw drew a close to training 5 minutes early as Howler and Ball had to get to a George Michael concert.

For those new players follow this link to see footage from a trial game last year. We wore the red shirts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-rDjFo_fL0

Coach ponders keeper position

Make lots of money.

I was lounging around reading the Blog, when my wife emails me this from across the living room,

"Looking great Babe".

Relics Impress in Trial Win

The Relics have started season 2010 in style with a solid 2-0 trial win against Berkeley Vale last Sunday.

A stinging pre-game verbal from Coach Crow saw the rejuvenated Relics line up power to a convincing win. Coach Crow did not mince his words ordering his players to give 110% or else. He mixed a venomous death stare with a volley of abusive language to warn his chargers that anything less than their absolute best will not be tolerated. Coach Crow finished his pre-match tirade by asserting, “I don’t give a f*** if this is a trial game. I want mistake free football and if I get anything f***ing less I will have you’re a*se at training. At this point seasoned Relics began looking at each other wondering if the power had gone to Coach Crow’s head. New recruits Reckin Ball, Howler and Tony were sh**ting themselves. Mothers held their children tight. The Axe’s lips began to quiver.

In his eagerness to impress Coach Crow, Tony went too hard too early and limped from the field with a leg injury. Coach Crow has ordered intense physio for Tony and daily stints in a hyperbaric chamber to reduce his time on the sideline.

The Relics withstood some early pressure with Berkeley Vale mounting numerous attacking raids. The back four of The Banker, The Toe, Reckin Ball and Beckham, however, were more than equal to the task of repelling their opposition. As the first 20 minute third neared its end the Relics began to take charge of the midfield. Coach Crow was scintillating, a real soccer craftsman in action. Shadow, too, impressed with his deft ball-work, sending some great through balls to Darchinian and wide balls to Statue and Howler. This pressure finally led to the first goal.

The second and third periods saw the Relics take control of the game. The second goal saw Blackbeard latch onto one of Shadow’s balls and put it past the luckless Berkeley Vale goal keeper.

The Relics were a happy bunch as they left the field, obviously content with their first hit out for the season. Unfortunately this was not a view shared by Coach Crow. Coach Crow drew several players aside, including Blackbeard, and read the riot act to them about some minor blemishes in their respective games. Blackbeard took the criticism on the chin and promised Coach Crow he would be sharper and more focussed next match.

The big talking point post match (after Coach Crow left) was the bizarre behaviour of Coach Crow. The Hat has volunteered to approach Lorraine to see if she could crush a couple of Valium into his Saturday lunches.

A big thanks to Mickledinho and Man Mountain who helped out in goals.

Prior to their match the Relics were treated to a soccer spectacle as the much vaunted Kincumber All Stars took to the field for their first match. The All Stars pushed the ball around like seasoned champions and despite losing 1-0 to a Berkeley Vale All-Age 6 outfit looked dominant for the majority of the match. Best on field for the All Stars were Roy, Diamond, Brumby and Mountain.

Welcome new players to the RELICS.

Good to have you on board Mark, Greg, Rob, Ian, Tony & Phil.

$100 Club.

As per usual we will be running the $100 Club this year. If possible we would like players to put $100 at the beginning of the season for the year's ref fees, however you can choose to pay $7 on match day. Anyone wanting to join the club see me.

Training on Wednesdays at 7pm.

We are aware that some of us will not make Wednesdays training, however it suits the majority. I will be missing 50% of training nights due to work, but will try and join in with another club team on the Thursday.

Training this Saturday.

Lets hope for cool weather for our next training game, this Saturday 4pm at Terry Oval.