Welcome back to all the ardent Relic followers.
Year 2014 is upon us and the Relics have a new look starting line up. Over the off season , super coach Philby has been a busy little Vegemite making several " back alley" style deals with players of ill repute!!!
Sick of being lambasted by every man and his dog in the streets of Kincumber every Monday after another inept performance by the Town's number one football team, Philby decided to get tough and bring in the heavy artillery.
In a scene that could rival the NRL's Super League war, Philby went dirty............some would say he went too far......... some could say he had no alternative....... some could say he was just drunk, but at the end of the day Philby just did what he had to do......... Get this miserable team of useless old pricks off the lounge and back into calculation for a frickin title!
Just how he was going to do this became a matter of conjecture. The Relics have always had a proud heritage of being keen footballers with next to no skill, sure they can drink and debauch with the best of teams but compete on the field ? well that was another matter.
Philby needed a fresh approach, he initially thought of bringing she boys in from Thailand, they couldn't play any better than the Relics but they sure could distract the opposition long enough to score a goal or two. he dropped this idea when he realised he would have to marry each one to get them into the country. HMMM what to do ?
Drunk and disorderly leaving a Shim bar in Gosford one night Philby was bailed up in a dark alley and told that a band of Allstar soccer mercenaries may be available to help out his situation. Apparently this band of merry soccer sluts would play for any team for the right price, Philby was hooked."I'll do it for the team" Philby screamed.
And so it came to pass that the Allstars, once despised by the Relics would now become their team mates, and as one they would take on the might of the 45Bs soccer competition. The only question that remains is what price did Philby pay??