Relics 0 - 3

After a promising start to the season with a one all draw in round one, the Relics have begun a slippery slide down the greasy pole towards premiership anonymity.
Round 2 saw a depleted Relics squad heading up the F3 to take on a new look Doylo side. Trying to put memories of last years game at Doyalson out of their minds, the Relics were quietly confident that the absence of Posh & Blackbeard would help lessen the chances of a repeat of last years debacle.
Ten minutes into the game on a stinking hot afternoon the Relics were looking the goods, passing well and on the attack. Playing on a postage stamp sized field it wasn’t long before Jaffa unleashed what seemed like a clearing kick that somehow found the back of the net. “You Beauty Chrome Dome” rejoiced the amazed Relics, “this could be our day” some thought. But just as the Relics were starting to feel good about themselves enter... POSH.
Having laddered his stockings in the off season, a broken semblance of Posh’s former pathetic self tuned up to atone the wrongs of last year. “ Put me up front “ he bellowed, “ I need to make this right”. And as Tolly succumbed to another heart attack on the field, Posh got his chance up front.
Needless to say the Relics didn’t look like scoring again.

Whilst Posh made a valiant effort to help the injury stricken Relics up front, his usual dour defence at the back was sadly missed. Along with Ball who had strained his groin from trying to put it on someone’s shoulder who was way too tall for him to reach, the Relics lacked aggression at the back, allowing a soft goal in the first half and another straight after half time.
To their credit all the Relics to a man played pretty well, no subs on a hot afternoon doesn’t augur well for over 45 codgers and the team did well not to allow a well structured Doylo to turn it into a big score.

Moving on, the Relics felt confident that their next game, at their spiritual home of Terry Oval against former 45’s whipping boys Terrigal would see a first up win for the year. With a few players back on deck & Posh no where to be seen the Relics were pumped for a big score. And they got one ..... 0 - 4..... now that’s BIG. What the hell happened ?
Reading like a script from previous Relic play books it basically went this way, the Relics made plenty of early breaks but didn’t convert any of their chances, Terrigal created a few chances and converted all of them.
To Terrigal’s credit they controlled the midfield better than the Relics, they passed the ball a bit better and generally their players were hungrier for a win than the Relics, just have a look at their Goalies effort, no way he was gunna let a goal in!

While its easy to say it was Posh’s fault, in fact every thing IS Posh’s fault, the Relics need to take a good hard look at themselves. Every individual needs to ask themselves “am I giving 100%” and if they answer yes they should give themselves an uppercut and say I can give more!!!
Coach Philby must be feeling the heat, 3 games in and the goals against have doubled with each game, at this rate the Relics could lose their last game by 32678. Surely this would be grounds for dismissal.
Anyway its early days and we shouldn’t write the Relics off just yet, we’ve had some injuries and other teams will get the same, at the end of the day its about enjoying yourselves and just having a kick, so lets have some fun.
AND THERE’S NOTHING MORE FUN THAN KICKING SOME OTHER OLD TEAM’S ARSES AROUND THE PITCH!

HOWLER