Relics Season Opener

2013 and yet another year for the ageing RELICS. After what seemed a very short off season the Relics dragged their sorry sagging arses over to Ourimbah for their opening match of the season.
Buoyed by the fact the Ourimbah Ogres were backing up from a game the day before and TOLLY was unavailable to play the Relics felt confident they could put away the competition newcomers.
Vic decided to put his cue in the rack and kissed his new girlfriend goodbye commenting that he never missed a game when married and he wasn't about to start now. Bella on the other hand had been stood up by his date, 3 professional chinese drinkers touring Australia on a fact finding mission were assigned the dubious task of taking Bella down, they opted for the easier task of out drinking a couple of rugby teams leaving a disappointed Bella free to play.
Coach Sulo had come under increasing pressure in the off season to rebuild the Relics back to the force they once were. Losing Wiz wasn't helpful and looking at his ageing roster COACH realised he'd made a serious error of judgement in taking over the reins of this sorry lot. Never the less Philby is a man of his word so instead of dropping everyone and starting over he implemented some positional changes, crossed his fingers and prayed to the soccer gods for divine intervention.
Whilst a few players in the team could benefit from an intervention a divine one was not forthcoming. Once again the Relics totally controlled the first half of the game, out running and out playing the Ogres all over the park. Goal scoring opportunities abounded as the Relics shredded the Ogres defence but once again the finishing let them down, several chances went begging as the Relic forwards miscued.
Finally the effort in passing and running to the ball paid off with a cross from the wing finding Banker in front and DUKES as he likes to be called finished it nicely. Several more near misses from the Relics should have seen them up by 3 at halftime instead they nearly conceded a penalty on halftime when instead of clearing the ball players tried to beat the opposition, the ball was lost and in the melee a penalty for hand ball was awarded. The laconic BELLA calmly took his hat off stood his ground and watched the ball sail over the top, "god this is easy " thought Bella, "I should be up front ".
Second half and it started much the same way as the first, the Relic backs and midfield held up the Ogres and they never looked like penetrating, on the change over the ball was pushed wide and the Relics were on the attack time and time again. Once again the Relics threatened but to no avail.
Possibly frustrated by the ineptness of the forwards attack the backs decided to play silly buggers and pass the ball to each other in their own zone, flashbacks of a game at Doylo came back to haunt the Relics as the Ogres scored what could only be called a soft goal. Lets have a team meeting right here now and vote youse never do that again!!!!!
All in all the RELICS can be proud of themselves, everyone had a dig, everyone contributed & Smokey got thru the game unscathed. If we stick to the game plan( WHATEVER THAT MAY BE) and play our part for the good of the team and not as individuals I'm predicting a good year for the RELICS.

 HOWLER