Cavemen V Relics

Today ,in one of the most anticpated games of the year the REAL DEAL KINCUMBER RELICS faced off with the gosford cavemen in one of international soccer's night of nights. The Relics reeling from a stinging loss to their lesser light cousins the fuckknuckles on Tuesday night ,were keen to turn it all around & give the cavemen a bone where they least expected it!
 Unfortunately like most of the REAL DEAL RELICS games this year they started poorly, some could even say pathetically, and conceded 2 early goals to the hapless  cavemen strikers.
 Unlike last year when the RELIC back line was harder than Howlers dick, the soft, almost moist  rearguard action offered today was more jelly like than the bellies most of the REAL DEAL RELICS

displayed after the game. All the talk of harden the you know what up !!!!!! went out the window as this this team of WE'LL BE BETTER NEXT WEEK ! slipped and slided down to the level of the cavemen.

Easy for the million dollar cattle on the side line to pass judjement, superstar WHIZ  showed his array of skills to anyone who would watch, juggling the ball beautifully on his injured knee much to the chagrin of his teammates on and off the field. The rest of the injured superstars opted for an easier out, drinking beer and reliving past glories  that none of them had ever acheived!
Half time and the REAL DEAL RELICS had regained the upperhand and held most of the possession for the latter part of the first half.
Inspirational words from coach Crows wife Lorraine at the break to the effect of, Howler your drunk and you owe $2.50. rung in the the ears of the RELICS as they resumed their positions for the second half.
If only we could kick a goal, words that may come back to haunt this gallant team of no ideas, the effort and courage displayed by this mob of goers in the second half was more moving than a scene from Neighbours. Coach Crowe was brilliant lifting his team and driving them forward in attack after attack! The midfield shed their reputation as rapists and actually started to control the ball, the cavemen had no answer to the intensity the RELICS were displaying and it just seemed to be a matter of time. 
The 400 goals we've missed this year meant nothhing as SHADOW  blocked a shot from MICK and then put it away himself, remaninisent of Vics fine work last week, the RELICS were back, the crowd which had swelled to 2, were baying for caveman blood.
Wave after wave of RELICS attacks , A  blitzkreig upon a pathetic enemy ensued, Every RELIC stood tall, inspirationally led by the CROW, everyone lifted. The call to PHIL of SOULO rang across the pitch and before STATUE could say RAMONE I LOVE YOU,  PHIL had trampled NINJA in to the greasy Gavenlock strip.
200 shots at goal later and the RELICS averages hadn't improved WTF!!!!!
As the beleagured RELICS trudged off, once again soccers BIGGEST LOSERS, each man looked at each other and thought to them selves ... who gives a xfy!!! its only a game. GREAT EFFORT GUYS!! as Jeff Fenech would say ' i love use all"


Howler.