Game 7 - BEWARE THE BENCH KEEPER !
Dallas quickly threw his soccer kit into his bag before his wife could see, " Your not playing are you love ? " she called, "No dear, just going to watch, the boys love that I come along and support them", " AAAh your such a lovely bloke no wonder I love you so much pumpkin, have a lovely day and give em a cheer for me won't you". "Yes dear" Dallas responded as he finished combing his hair over the bolts in his head. "Don't want to scare any of the kiddies out there today" he mused as he made his way to watch his beloved Relics take on Avoca at Wyoming. Secretly Dallas was fuming, he wanted another crack at Harry High Pants and his misfit mates at Avoca. The semi final loss to them from 2 years ago still rankled Dallas, he was keeper then and gave away a crucial penalty, tackling HHP with a classic front on hit SBW would be proud of. Great hit mate just the wrong sport ! Deep down he was hoping Big Bob wasn't gunna show and he would get his shot at redemption. Turning up at the park Dallas was gutted when he realised that not only had Bob showed up but so had last years keepers Bella and Smokey, he was no hope of playing. Was there anyone that hadn't turned up?
Well yes,...... Beer Bitch extrordinare and bench keeper Grant, exhausted from organising last weeks Ladys day extravaganza was having the weekend off, the Relics needed a bench keeper and Dallas had the job.
Games against the old enemy are always tough, neither team likes to give an inch and this game wasn't going to be any different, the Relics went out early and slapped them around with 2 early goals, Howler once again found the keeper but at least this time the rebound was favourable and Pullo ( yes Pullo actually played) put it away nicely. Coops as usual fired in another great shot a short time later and the Relics could relax and play with the opposition like a cat with a mouse. Benchkeeper Dallas had other ideas though, he wanted to see HHP & his mates reduced to tears, he wanted them blown off the park, so he started replacing Relics at will, he wanted them fresh & in complete control. Pullo ( yes Pullo actually played) was first to go, dragged off after scoring his goal, not even given the chance to kick off, the changes continued at a rapid rate, Dallas was becoming obsessive, he was calling everyone off, even the Ref. Mind you the Relics responded to the changes and applied themselves well on the park, defensively
they were all over the Avoca blokes and snuffed out any opportunities they had. Attack was also good with many breaks down both sides of the pitch and great support and control from the midfield, at the back the Relics were impenetrable with Ball, Banker, Jaffa & co tighter than Dave Cullens playing shirt.
On the sidelines Dallas was the man, totally in control, some what like Hitler, his changes had a German like precision to them, ACHTUNG !! " get off you dumbkoff " all he needed was the little moustache and a loud hailer. Harry High Pants meanwhile had dropped out of the game, obviously intimidated by Dallas' sideline antics he wasn't keen for another collapsed lung courtesy of another shoulder charge. Dallas however didn't even notice HHP come off, he was totally immersed in his position of bench keeper and had forgotten his hatred for Avoca, he felt the power of being the Bench keeper and he wasn't gunna let it go.
" Who wants to be a goal keeper when you can be the bench keeper? "Dallas said as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
His final hook of the game came with the game winding down and the Relics comfortably in control at 2-0, Howler who had done nothing all game had the audacity to miss kick a pass to Pullo (yes Pullo actually played) raising the ire of the bench keeper, Howler was dragged unceremoniously from the park, the Bench Keeper abusing the pin up boy all the way to the bench " You'll never play for the Relics again loser boy, now get off!! " he screamed.
After the game someone gave Dallas a snickers bar and he resumed his pre match mild mannered Clark Kent persona, totally ambivalent to what had transpired in the 90 minutes earlier, unfortunately the damage to the players mindsets had already been done and in Howlers case probably irreversible.
A great result particularly over Avoca, we love kicking their arses! Well done Dallas great team support!
Go the Blues!! and the Socceroos !!
Dallas quickly threw his soccer kit into his bag before his wife could see, " Your not playing are you love ? " she called, "No dear, just going to watch, the boys love that I come along and support them", " AAAh your such a lovely bloke no wonder I love you so much pumpkin, have a lovely day and give em a cheer for me won't you". "Yes dear" Dallas responded as he finished combing his hair over the bolts in his head. "Don't want to scare any of the kiddies out there today" he mused as he made his way to watch his beloved Relics take on Avoca at Wyoming. Secretly Dallas was fuming, he wanted another crack at Harry High Pants and his misfit mates at Avoca. The semi final loss to them from 2 years ago still rankled Dallas, he was keeper then and gave away a crucial penalty, tackling HHP with a classic front on hit SBW would be proud of. Great hit mate just the wrong sport ! Deep down he was hoping Big Bob wasn't gunna show and he would get his shot at redemption. Turning up at the park Dallas was gutted when he realised that not only had Bob showed up but so had last years keepers Bella and Smokey, he was no hope of playing. Was there anyone that hadn't turned up?
Well yes,...... Beer Bitch extrordinare and bench keeper Grant, exhausted from organising last weeks Ladys day extravaganza was having the weekend off, the Relics needed a bench keeper and Dallas had the job.
Games against the old enemy are always tough, neither team likes to give an inch and this game wasn't going to be any different, the Relics went out early and slapped them around with 2 early goals, Howler once again found the keeper but at least this time the rebound was favourable and Pullo ( yes Pullo actually played) put it away nicely. Coops as usual fired in another great shot a short time later and the Relics could relax and play with the opposition like a cat with a mouse. Benchkeeper Dallas had other ideas though, he wanted to see HHP & his mates reduced to tears, he wanted them blown off the park, so he started replacing Relics at will, he wanted them fresh & in complete control. Pullo ( yes Pullo actually played) was first to go, dragged off after scoring his goal, not even given the chance to kick off, the changes continued at a rapid rate, Dallas was becoming obsessive, he was calling everyone off, even the Ref. Mind you the Relics responded to the changes and applied themselves well on the park, defensively
they were all over the Avoca blokes and snuffed out any opportunities they had. Attack was also good with many breaks down both sides of the pitch and great support and control from the midfield, at the back the Relics were impenetrable with Ball, Banker, Jaffa & co tighter than Dave Cullens playing shirt.
On the sidelines Dallas was the man, totally in control, some what like Hitler, his changes had a German like precision to them, ACHTUNG !! " get off you dumbkoff " all he needed was the little moustache and a loud hailer. Harry High Pants meanwhile had dropped out of the game, obviously intimidated by Dallas' sideline antics he wasn't keen for another collapsed lung courtesy of another shoulder charge. Dallas however didn't even notice HHP come off, he was totally immersed in his position of bench keeper and had forgotten his hatred for Avoca, he felt the power of being the Bench keeper and he wasn't gunna let it go.
" Who wants to be a goal keeper when you can be the bench keeper? "Dallas said as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
His final hook of the game came with the game winding down and the Relics comfortably in control at 2-0, Howler who had done nothing all game had the audacity to miss kick a pass to Pullo (yes Pullo actually played) raising the ire of the bench keeper, Howler was dragged unceremoniously from the park, the Bench Keeper abusing the pin up boy all the way to the bench " You'll never play for the Relics again loser boy, now get off!! " he screamed.
After the game someone gave Dallas a snickers bar and he resumed his pre match mild mannered Clark Kent persona, totally ambivalent to what had transpired in the 90 minutes earlier, unfortunately the damage to the players mindsets had already been done and in Howlers case probably irreversible.
A great result particularly over Avoca, we love kicking their arses! Well done Dallas great team support!
Go the Blues!! and the Socceroos !!
State of Origin was like a bunch of pre school kids playing in a f*#^king jumping castle compared to the courage and %*#&ing determination shown by The Mighty Roos against those f*&^king pussies from Avoca.
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