Many of the RELICS who played on Saturday were very surprised to see TOLLY at Tuesdays game after he had told them all he was COMMITTED, we all assumed wife SHARON had finally had enough & signed the paper work to have him taken away, alas that was not the case & TOLLY was allowed out to play with strict instructions to only drink from a yellow can & to always stay under the supervision of son JOSH.
Coach WAZ on the other hand was dealing with the demons inside his own head. A well chronicled missed penalty in Saturdays game & a power struggle with the ASS BIN coach for control of the RELICS found him trying to regain favour within the team by offering Hot dogs after the game. Why the owner of a pizza shop would bribe the team with hot dogs was a mystery.
RELIC numbers were bolstered for the match by the return of several players, the GUMBIES had several new faces as well, many with POMMIE accents, SHADOW for once felt right at home. After being tied to the bed for the last 2 weeks by his fiancee & looking a little drained SHADOW was keen to have a run & get some feeling back into the lower part of his body.
TOE thinking he was on to a dirty week away with CATHY, had to return to the coast when they discovered son DANIEL had stowed away in the car boot, TOE bought the offending juvenile back with him with the plan of leaving him at Pluim Park & taking off when he wasn't watching.
In cold & damp conditions the game got under way, the first half was tight with both sides defending well, VIC & ASS BIN both took up from where they left off on Saturday chasing everything & getting the team moving. WAZ at the back once again had the backs working overtime & thwarted many a GUMBIE incersion, it seemed WAZ & ASS BIN were determined to be the best player on the pitch such was the intensity of their play.
ASS BIN finally got one up when he launched a kick from 30 odd metres out that struck the crossbar & dropped down in the field of play, TOLLY was onto it like a fly on shit & whilst he thought about back heeling it, sanity prevailed & he tapped it in.
The RELICS dug in for the rest of the half totally frustrating the GUMBIES, particularly their #3, this poor excuse for a footballer was giving it to whoever he could both verbally & physically, even his own teammates weren't spared. His poor form & lack of sportmanship spread to a few other players within his team which in the long run helped the RELICS to keep a focus on winning..... THANKS FAT BOY!!
The second half & the game continued at much the same pace, neither side really threatened & the slippery conditions were making it hard to control the ball. A clumsy tackle from the GUMBIES in their box earned the RELICS a penalty, you beauty thought the RELICS................and then........ SHIT!!! thought the RELICS who's gunna kick this ?
WHEATS grabbed the ball & held it up like an offering to the soccer gods...." please gods show us who should kick this " pleaded WHEATS, & then under his breath "pick me, pick me"...... WAZ as is his way, strode up to WHEATS & dispossessed him of the ball "phew that was close" thought the soccer gods. WAZ looked around at his teammates "anyone keen ?" Lots of shifty glances & hands on hips accompanied by some nervous coughs was all that greeted WAZ's question, except for WHEATS who was saying " pick me, pick me ". WAZ decided as captain & coach to shoulder the responsibility & take the shot. And the result....... NEVER MIND !
The RELICS could have dwelled on this missed opportunity as could have WAZ, but to everyones credit they didn't, & for the rest of the half they ran, attacked & defended like their lives depended on it. No one likes to lose to smart mouthed, ill mannered POMMIES, that's just the AUSTRALIAN way. The RELICS had one more opportunity late in the half when VIC took off up field & got himself into a one on one with the keeper, a nice chip over almost came off.
As the final whistle blew the RELICS could breath easy, a strong win in difficult conditions, always a good tonic for a team low on confidence. WAZ always a man of his word marshalled the RELICS to the carpark to feast on hotdogs & beer, and whilst the dogs were as cold as the beer & the bread rolls were almost as old as SHADOW it didn't matter, it was still a fitting reward for a hard fought win!
Howler
Awesome Howler I have been reduced to tears of laughter - come on Becks your turn!!
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