BABY RELICS FALTER AT FINAL HURDLE

After last weeks encouraging result against Woy Woy the RELICS entered yesterdays game against lowly DOYLO full of confidence. With coach WAZ back in the team it was time to teach Doylo a lesson or two.


Coach Waz assuming he would slot back into his familiar midfield role received a rude shock from aspiring coach Ass BIN that he was in fact playing sweeper, the Relic squad looked on nervously expecting a possible blow up between the two, but professionalism prevailed and the selections stood.
Without a plethora of uninterested & injured players the Relics were forced to call up a couple of pups from the 35ds and like the Broncos, the Relics became the BABY RELICS for the day.


The first half & the BABY RELICS slotted straight into gear completely dominating the opposition all over the park, continuous raids down both sides of the field saw the BABY RELICS in many a goal scoring position. It didn't take long before a neat thru ball from Ass Bin put Howler into open space and much to the surprise of Howler & his teamates he duly slotted a goal Messi would be proud of.
Johnny the Jaffa, not to be out done found himself in a similar position soon after but zeroed in on the practice net off the field rather than the actual game net & managed to miss both. He soon made amends when he went one on one with the keeper and managed to drill one past him.


The 35s pups were unleashed onto the field and Mark & Pat quickly joined in on what was looming as a slaughter. Running the Doylo defence ragged the RELICS midfield, particularly Vic & Wheats were in total control and the passing between them & the forward line was a sight to behold. The backs were doing their job well with TOE & DALLAS put on a leash by WAZ & told to stick like glue to the opposition, DALLAS as usual took this literally & got up close & sticky with his opposite at every opportunity.


A pinpoint cross from WAZ almost resulted in goal 3. The ball skidded off the pitch past VICs outstretched leg straight to young pup PAT in front of an open goal, " here we go, here we go," sang the bench in anticipation of the upcoming tap in & PAT in true RELIC form managed to miss from 5 metres out. "Never mind lad", the older RELICS sighed "that happens a lot in this team, you"ll fit in well."


The BABY RELICS continued to dominate their older, more experienced & in some cases fatter opponents with ease, that is until probably Doylo's fattest player latched onto a ball from 20 metres out & with BELLA in two minds whether to come out or stay the result was GOALA.


Half time gave the BABY RELICS time to collect their thoughts & gave coach WAZ time to collect from TOLLY for the 6 back heel kicks he had incurred in the first half. " The DOYLO blokes reckon I do 'em really good' pleaded TOLLY. "You can f.....ing well play with Doylo if you do another one" retorted WAZ.


Back on the field in the second half and the game continued in the same vein as the first half. HEAD who thought he was actually playing with the 35ds was playing out of his skin (which is a big call because he has a lot of skin) bedazzling his opposite with petite footwork & sheer speed off the mark, so quick in fact the ref almost called time off when he chased a long ball because it took him so long to get to it.


To Doylos credit they managed to repel wave after wave of BABY RELICS attack, until Howler was bought down inside the box by their second fattest player and it seemed a mere formality that the BABY RELICS would convert the penalty. Up stepped coach WAZ always keen to increase his goal tally & without Wheats out there to challenge him for the job he was the only person that wanted to kick it, so he did......... straight to the keeper! TOLLY was heard to mutter " I would have done better with my back heel."


Meanwhile on the sideline the DILDO, doing a great job as the subman, felt a shiver run down his spine, he'd seen this kind of thing before, miss a penalty and the other mob score at the other end. Biting down on his corn cob pipe, scratching his chin & sounding like Walter Brennan ( the old guy in the John Wayne westerns) DILDO turned to the bench " I feels a bad things a gonna happen just mark my words"


Need I say any more!


well yes I do....... A great team effort where everyone contributed, & a big thanks to Mark & Pat, they both played great.


Once again though the Relics found a way not to win against a team that basically only had 2 half chances. "never mind lad that happens a lot in this team" sighed the Old RELICS as they trudged off to have a beer or two. "Things could be worse you know" someone was heard to say," Yeah we could be paying $3 for a beer instead of $2.50" someone quipped. ahhem ASS BIN interjected, "I have already had a meeting with myself & authorised that beer increase & by the way....... I also voted myself head coach at that same meeting."


Upon hearing this the DILDO felt that same shiver down his spine & thought to himself, I feels bad things a gonna happen just mark my words.


Howler