Darchinyan Spits Dummy – Rift With Crowch

The Relics are a team in tatters tonight as details of a damaging rift between reigning 45s player of the year and former coach Darchinyan and 2010 coach, the Crowch. It is understood that the rift flared when Darchinyan privately attacked Crowch for his decision to award every player one point following their hard fought match against the Budgie Smugglers. It is also understood that Darchinyan was livid about not receiving the three points. According to an ex-Relic who allegedly witnessed the incident (Mickledildo) Darchinyan was heard to say with very aggressive tone and tenor and much finger pointing:

“You got to be ***kin’ kiddin’ Crowch what did Becks and Statue do to deserve any points! They were spectators for most of the match”
“As for Banker, he was sh*t. He was too slow and just lumbered from one mess to the next. His execution was poor”
“…and The Toe, for Christ sakes Crowch, how could he get two points and I only got one. I mean, I am a champion! I am the current 45s player of the year! I am a star! I was easily the best out there today you pri*k!

In a display of absolute calm it was reported to this scribe, from the informant, that Crowch merely replied:

“Wake up to yourself Darchinyan!” “Suck it up and get on with it, and by the way you are starting on the bench against the Tossils!

Wild Thing Ignites Vixens
Newcomer Wild Thing continues to impress with some solid defence and scintillating runs out wide. So keen is Wild Thing to show off his defensive prowess he even entertained the Vixens by taking out a Sulo bin mid way through the match. Post match it was revealed that Wild Thing may have suffered an injury after his collision with the bin. Happily for Kincumber football the bin will take its place next weekend adjacent to Frost 1! Not too sure about the Wild Thing!




Budgie Smuggle Win
By the way the match score was 2-1 with the Smugglers lucky to leave Frost with a win. As is reported elsewhere in the Blog a dodgy penalty gave the visitors their win. The Relics started the match on fire with numerous opportunities to score early. Howler, in particular, found himself one – on –one with the keeper several times but appeared to choke on his own fur ball to either push the ball straight to the keeper or miss the goals altogether. At some stage during the match all Relics strikers had either an open goal or were one – on – one with the keeper only to miss!
As usual, defensively the Relics were strong. Reckin Ball, Banker, The Toe, Wild Thing and Smokey were resolute in defence. Rising 50 year old The Hat tried hard for the 80 minutes to rally his troops for a winning effort. Ambo’s Blackbeard and Dallas also had impressive non games.

Midfield Getting the Feel of One Another
The highlight of the match, however, is the emerging midfield partnership between Whiz, Shadow and Crowch. It won’t be long before this footballing ménage a trios will develop a deeper understanding of each others’ favourite moves and positions and begin to experiment and take further risks to set the Relics attack alight!

All in all it was a solid display from the Relics who are champing at the bit to tackle The Tossils next week.

Becks