Amid stifling heat and a narrow 1-0 defeat at the hands of o/45 newcomers the Berkeley Vale Rustics (BVR), the Relics looked a forlorn mob post match as the esky ran dry within 15 minutes. New Beer Bitch, Roid Man, was busy trying to find a hole to hide in as The Hat’s mum and Relic after Relic ventured to an empty esky looking for sustenance. Message to BB from your fellow Relics – lift your game!
The Hat, wearing the captain’s arm-band for the first time this season continued the team’s proud tradition of losing the toss (he obviously learnt well from Mickledinho). Running uphill, into the wind and a piercing sun, a new-look Relics outfit hit the field eager to impress against BVR.
The first half was tough for the Relics. BVR pushed the ball around well and seemed to have options at every juncture of play. The Relics were at sixes and sevens battling to effectively mark up on their opponents. If it wasn’t for some great defensive play from the Relics’ back four the Relics may well have been down two or three goals at half time. In the end the Relics went to the break 0-0.
As the weary Relics sought the half-time shade a number looked at the team esky licking their lips in anticipation with many making comments like: “I can’t wait for a beer at full-time” and “I hope BB has packed plenty of VB.”
Crowtch took a calm approach to his half time talk. He noted the efforts his team was making and made some significant changes to the team’s defensive patterns. He instructed every man except for Banker to mark up on a player. This initially confused new keeper Smokey who parked himself in the opponent’s goal mouth for the commencement of the second half.
The second half was a much different affair. Crowtch’s instructions worked a treat and the Relics’ dominated the majority of this period. Apart from one minor blemish which resulted in an unremarkable BVR goal, the Relics were unlucky not to win the match, particularly as BVR brought everyman back in defence for the final 10 minutes following their goal. This pussy ploy was obviously due to the Relics' dominance in the final 20 minutes and BVR’s respect for the Relics’ attacking machine.
New Relics Wrecking Ball, Wild Thing and Smokey had great games. With sweat beading down his glimmering globe Wrecking Ball was everywhere. He combined deft passing with resolute defence. WB will be an asset is season 2010. One criticism, however, came from Banker who indicated post match that he was often blinded by the glare emanating from WB’s shiny orb.
It is understood that on sunny days Crowtch will request that WB wear a scarf. 
Some fellow Relics even suggested a mask or balaclava!
Wild Thing, obviously playing up to a devoted fan club, rattled the bones of a number of Rustics with some excellent front on defence.
WT, too, has impressed fellow Relics and a great season in 2010 is also assured.
New keeper Smokey, who has been ultra impressive in trial games, looked the goods in the first competitive hit out.
Smokey will be a vital cog in the Relics machine this season and he will fill the vacant keeper position nicely in 2010.
Bring on Gosford!
Becks
The Hat, wearing the captain’s arm-band for the first time this season continued the team’s proud tradition of losing the toss (he obviously learnt well from Mickledinho). Running uphill, into the wind and a piercing sun, a new-look Relics outfit hit the field eager to impress against BVR.
The first half was tough for the Relics. BVR pushed the ball around well and seemed to have options at every juncture of play. The Relics were at sixes and sevens battling to effectively mark up on their opponents. If it wasn’t for some great defensive play from the Relics’ back four the Relics may well have been down two or three goals at half time. In the end the Relics went to the break 0-0.
As the weary Relics sought the half-time shade a number looked at the team esky licking their lips in anticipation with many making comments like: “I can’t wait for a beer at full-time” and “I hope BB has packed plenty of VB.”
Crowtch took a calm approach to his half time talk. He noted the efforts his team was making and made some significant changes to the team’s defensive patterns. He instructed every man except for Banker to mark up on a player. This initially confused new keeper Smokey who parked himself in the opponent’s goal mouth for the commencement of the second half.
The second half was a much different affair. Crowtch’s instructions worked a treat and the Relics’ dominated the majority of this period. Apart from one minor blemish which resulted in an unremarkable BVR goal, the Relics were unlucky not to win the match, particularly as BVR brought everyman back in defence for the final 10 minutes following their goal. This pussy ploy was obviously due to the Relics' dominance in the final 20 minutes and BVR’s respect for the Relics’ attacking machine.
New Relics Wrecking Ball, Wild Thing and Smokey had great games. With sweat beading down his glimmering globe Wrecking Ball was everywhere. He combined deft passing with resolute defence. WB will be an asset is season 2010. One criticism, however, came from Banker who indicated post match that he was often blinded by the glare emanating from WB’s shiny orb.
It is understood that on sunny days Crowtch will request that WB wear a scarf. Some fellow Relics even suggested a mask or balaclava!Wild Thing, obviously playing up to a devoted fan club, rattled the bones of a number of Rustics with some excellent front on defence.
WT, too, has impressed fellow Relics and a great season in 2010 is also assured.New keeper Smokey, who has been ultra impressive in trial games, looked the goods in the first competitive hit out.
Smokey will be a vital cog in the Relics machine this season and he will fill the vacant keeper position nicely in 2010.Bring on Gosford!
Becks
Another great report Becks, however I noticed the lack of pictures in this one. Surely when we mentioned to limit the amount of gay men pictures from your album, we didn't leave you high and dry.
ReplyDeleteSorry Darchinyan. I didn't realise how much you enjoyed the gay themes. Please send some more pictures(not explicit)from your collection and I will include them in the next bulletin.
ReplyDeleteWell done Relics, seeing most of the second half there were extended periods of champagne,, ahh sorry I mean VB football.
ReplyDeleteDue to school hol committments I will miss what is sure to be a torturous training session from Crowtch on Wednesday night (hope the BB doesn't let you down again), I'll be there next Saturday to greet the cave men at Frost.
We should save water.
ReplyDeleteI have suspended myself for 2 weeks following the beer shortage debacle....surely this must be a red card offence.
ReplyDelete