Glimmer of Hope as Relics Slide Continues

Despite some enterprising second half attacking play the Relics have continued their slide down the 45’s ladder after a 1-3 loss to the Kripples. The Relics are now in 4th position and desperate for a win.

Post match Coach Vic was philosophical about their third loss in succession indicating that “the second half was good.” He also dismissed speculation that his continuing feud with Diamond and other senior players was affecting team morale. “That’s bullshit!” exclaimed Coach Vic, “the Diamond shone out there today – just ask him” He then added “we had 16 open shots on goal and missed them all, in fact, I don’t think Diamond, Mickledinho, the Banker, Downhill, the Crow or the Hat could hit the side of a barn with a bucket of wheat!” Coach Vic then stormed out of the media room and headed straight for the esky. Coach Vic was obviously disappointed that he could not take the field due to injury.




Statue, too, was wheezing like the late great Bernie Bampton and not fit to take his place. In a herculean display MM required several painkilling injections to take his place. MM was not expected to play and It should be noted that Dallas did continuous cartwheels and had a grin like a split watermelon when he saw MM draw his boots from his bag.

The Relics also lost Roy early in the match and it is believed that Roy took an eyelash injury into the game. Apparently he applied his mascara too vigorously on Friday night prior to attending a cross dressing party with the Diamond. Roy’s early exit made the way for the Banker to enter the game. The Banker was starting on the bench and one of several senior players dropped from the starting line-up following last weeks massacre.

Running up hill and into a gale the Relics did well to keep the Kripples at bay for the opening 20 minutes. The weight of field position finally told and the Kripples scored to take a 1-0 lead. This was the half time score.

Incredibly the wind dropped completely for the second half, adding to the Relics’ woes. Despite this the Relics took control of the match during large stages of the second period. The Axe was solid in attack and defence, showing off some silken skills on the ball. The Silver Fuzz continued his good form, scoring a goal and pressuring the Kripples defence repeatedly. Maximillion and the Toe, who took a savage blow to the ribs, were solid in defence.

In the last quarter Coach Vic pushed the Banker forward in attack and moved Shadow to sweeper. This proved a master stroke with Shadow finding the Relics midfield at will, precipitating numerous attacking raids. During this period the Crow, Mickledino, Diamond, Dallas and the Hat combined to repeatedly threaten the Kripples goal.

The second half finally saw the Relics push the ball around and find feet. Rather than run away from the ball players called for the ball and moved to it. This is promising, particularly as the Relics play Avoca in a must win match next week.

In post match festivities BB came under fire as the piss ran out. Note to BB, bring two cartons of VB and a six pack of Tooheys to future games.

BB