Coach and Diamond at Loggerheads after Shock Loss

Coach Vic and Relics self acknowledged star signing Diamond Reid are not talking to each other in the aftermath of yesterdays shock 1-0 defeat at the hands of The Fossils. It is understood that the feud erupted following a terse conversation between the two at half time about match tactics. In the post match media conference Coach Vic indicated he was livid with Diamond, and with nostrils flaring, stated he was thinking about tearing up his contract or even a possible trade with veteran striker Archibald Henry who is off contract at Brentwood Village.

The Relics entered the match at Frost 2 brimful of confidence following victories over Avoca and Doylo. An early scare, however, saw Man Mountain arrive without his boots. MM calmly asked his team mates if anyone had a spare pair of size 17 boots in their bag – yeah big chance! On hearing this news reserve goalkeeper Dallas went into apoplexy and even offered to cut the toes out of his own boots in order for MM to take his place. Dallas had cut the toe out of one of his boots when MM accepted a pair of joggers from Roy, which sufficed for the first half. MM’s boots arrived at half time and he took the field for the second half correctly shod.

In the pre-match warm-up Downhill Dave boldly declared that "if we play like we trained Thursday we will flog this mob!" The Relics thundered onto the park eager for the starting whistle!

The Relics boasted a new look line-up. Coach Vic was obviously experimenting with his team as he had the ever reliable defender Banker Gray at striker, Diamond at right back, and relative newcomers to soccer Jeff “the axe” Towler and the Beer Bitch in the midfield.

The early exchanges were hotly contested but as the first half wore on The Fossils began to dominate possession. The Relics passing game disintegrated, with the ball regularly turned over to The Fossils. The Fossils always seemed to have two or three simple passing options. The Relics had no options in attack. Players were running away from the ball. The Relics balls were not finding feet and players were not marking up on their Fossil counterpart in defence. One sideline eye commented that The Relics were giving The Fossils too much depth in attack – whatever that means!

Eventually the pressure told and The Fossils scored an unremarkable goal mid way through the first period.

During this first period Coach Vic had to rearrange his team following an injury to the Big O. Initial thoughts were that Roy had suffered a hairline fracture to his fingernail but a subsequent diagnosis revealed a pulled groin. Roy was to return to play during the second half but only briefly and finally succumbing to his groin problem. Hopefully with some careful groin manipulation, rubbing, jerking and stretching during the week Roy will be back on the park for next Saturday.

After some much needed soul searching The Relics lifted in the second half and were unlucky not to score on several occasions. Statue hit the post after some good lead up work and Mickledinho just missed the right top of goal from a penalty kick. The Crow swooped on some great through balls and Coach Vic used some of his trade mark silken skills on the ball, but could not find his way to a clean strike. Diamond, sporting a new Fred Flintstone like hair cut, even ventured forward from his right back position to lend some help in the front line. At one point it was noted that Diamond took seven strides on the same blade of grass as he tried to scurry back into his defensive position.

Shadow began to cast the ball to feet in the second half and Maximillion, obviously working up a thirst for the post match esky had a strong second half.

It was clear that the team missed the left foot prowess of both The Hat and Adrian (need a nick name for Adrian). Unfortunately their powder keg left feet in the midfield were replaced by the powder puff left feet of The Axe and The Bitch. Hopefully next week The Hat is off the nest and Adrian is over his bung eye. The Toe’s gritty defence was also missed.

This match was a good wake call for The Relics. This competition will not be won on past reputations. No doubt Coach Vic will up the intensity at training and rally his troops for a much improved effort for next Saturday against competition front runners Budgewoi.

BB