RELICS UNDER A TEXT BLITZ‏

Hi Relics, was just going thru the drafts of my emails when I came across this little gem. You all probably remember the occasion in June when Coach Sulo inundated all team members with a barrage of useless text messages, this story was never finished, I think I passed out through drunkedness or boredom I can't remember... anyway this was shaping as a special team report and gives us a reminder of the passion the coaching gig bought out of Coach Philby in 2013. Please feel free to finish the story anyway you want, I for one can't remember what happened next !!!


Who ever thought that Laurie Daley was the only coach under the pump as the Blues coach, has obviously never met RELICS coach Philby Wildthing Sulo Lahiff. Having taken over the reins as number one coach in 2013 it is obvious the pressure is getting to the man bigtime !

History should have shown Philby that RELIC coaching is a thankless unrewarding folly, best left to people of low standards and thicker skin. Look at the trail of broken men that have gone before him, Crow & Whiz once inspirational players within the squad, reduced to pathetic mojo less shells of their former selves. Why Philby ? why did you let yourself stagger down this path of self destruction.

Friday night whilst most Relics were tucked up in bed with a good book, bottle of red and a couple of Asian chicks, Philby's world was slowly unravelling. Devastated by the loss of several players for the upcoming game against the BUGGIE SMUGGLERS, Philby was desperately reaching out, trying to plug up the holes of this leaky, listing ship. Every way he turned he came up against a brickwall of red tape and disinterest. With no one to turn to Philby, turned to the two things he knew he could rely on..... his mobile phone & a carton of Pure Blonde beer.

Feeling Warneeish, Philby let fly on the mobile, texting his heart out in an attempt to salvage ( in his mind at least) the Relics season.
Players , officials, Dominos & the odd pro were inundated with the coach's heart wrenching outpourings of texted grief. PATHETIC!!! to say the least. "Get a life!" most were heard to say although the pros did respond with " love you long time coach Philby, you so big! " inspired by these comments Philby continued on deep into the night drinking and texting like a love struck teenager.

Needless to say Saturday rolled around and the Relics had to face up to the harsh reality that they were playing a quality opposition whilst undermanned & coached by a man who had quite obviously lost his marbles. Some may call it fate some may call it divine intervention but when those Relics rocked up to Frost Reserve to play, their playing stocks had some how swelled from 8 to 13.
Shadow had dropped his white cane and let the guide dog loose to take up his position in the starting lineup, Toe spent the week in a hyperbaric chamber to get over his knee injury, unfortunately he now has chronic recurring callouses on the palm of his right hand, but he got on the field just the same. Help also arrived in


Howler