Cavemen in sights as Relics dispatch Gumbies

The mighty Kincumber Relics will play the 45b major semi-final against the Gosford Cavemen next week after a solid 2-0 victory against arch-rivals the Avoca Gumbies. The Relics won their way to the major semi on goal difference with the Rustics only able to defeat the Barnacles 1-0. The Rustics will play the Gumbies in the minor semi.


Despite not scoring a legitimate field goal the Relics were never in trouble against the Gumbie Sharks. The Relics were unlucky not to be leading at least 5-0 after 20 minutes with Howler and Mickledildo squandering numerous chances. Both Relics had the goal keeper one-on-one and were unable to convert. Howler had three chances in one sortie, missed all three times, and ended up flat on his back!

The defence, as usual, was stoic – successive clean sheets. Smokey signalled that he is back to his best form in goals. Banker gazumped any potentially profitable play from the Gumbies. Wreckin Ball’s great shiny orb glistened in the midday sun and the bronze man continued to run! (most of the time). Sulo was everywhere cleaning up the odd rubbish pass from fellow Relics and the Hat came in handy in the hot sunny conditions.

The Relics first goal came from a penalty on Mickledildo in the box. Shadow converted with his usual aplomb. Unknown at the time, footage of the penalty was taken by three Cavemen, hiding behind a grassy knoll who were secretly filming the match for training purposes. The footage has been posted on youtube and can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI7AsZGnyi4 (MD is the devil figure).

For most of the match The Relics midfield and strikers mounted attacking raid after attacking raid, obviously relishing the great service they were receiving from the backs. The second goal came after a goal mouth melee where one particular Gumbie, not keen on the impending nudie run, put a nice back-heal past his own keeper.

Coach Old Crow, Captain Hat and newly self-appointed strategist Waz-Göran Eriksson (pictured) plan to meet mid-week to plan the assault on the Cavemen. The Relics are after Cavemen blood!

Coach Old Crow has reinforced his commitment to winning the inaugural o/45s B competition by ordering a beer and sex ban on all Relics until after the grand-final. This decision was greeted with some derision from most Relics, except one unamed Relic who indicated that such a ban would give his dodgy wrist a chance to heal.

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