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M45 / M45A

Killarney District Soccer Club Incorporated

3

1

Doyalson- Wyee Soccer Club

14/04/12

M45 / M45B

Kincumber Roos F.C.

7

2

Doyalson Wyee Soccer Club

14/04/12

M45 / M45A

Berkeley Vale Soccer Club

2

4

Umina United Soccer Club

14/04/12

M45 / M45B

Avoca Football Club Inc

4

0

Berkeley Vale Soccer Club

14/04/12

M45 / M45B

Woy Woy Football Club

0

3

Gosford City Football Club Inc

14/04/12

Relics Demolish Wolves in Season Opener

The mighty Kincumber Relics have hit the ground running in season 2012 with a resounding win over the Doyalson Wolves in front of a smallish but appreciative crowd at Fortress Frost. The result was even more stunning considering the number of Relics unavailable for the match. Smokey (strained gluteus), Banker (sore groin), Dallas (work) and Blackbeard (work) were ruled out during the week. Prior to the match strikers Darchinyan and new boy Tonk withdrew due to illness. The Relics also lost Howler in the first half with a strained calf.

The Relics were very impressive in the opening stages pushing the ball to each other with confidence and conviction. It wasn’t long before the Wolves were at sixes and sevens and no doubt regretting leaving their Doyalson den to make the trip south on the F3.

The Relics had numerous shots on goal in the opening period but could not put one past the agile wolf in goals. The deadlock was finally broken when Shadow put a neat strike into the net after some terrific lead-up work down the right flank. The Relics were clearly outclassing their lupine foe.

The Relics new formation was holding fast with Wild Thing, Old Crow, Toe and Becks looking impenetrable. At the 20 minute mark, however, disaster struck when a lone wolf run onto a speculative kick to send one past stand-in keeper Reckin ‘iron gloves’ Ball. The crowd was stunned as the Wolves drew even.

It wasn’t long, however, before the Relics ascendancy continued as Mickledildo banged one home for a 2-1 lead. Mickledildo was desperately unlucky not to have had a brace of goals as many of his attempts just failed to find the target. Even though the Relics went to the half time break with only a one goal lead they looked to be holding their opposition safely.

The Relics went on the attack straight away in the second half and it wasn’t long before club stalwart Hat mesmerised the Wolves defence to convert a glorious and poignant goal. At 3-1 it was a case of the Relics by how many! Completely against the run of play, however, the Wolves managed to scrounge a second goal after a Relics mix-up in front of their goal.

Down 2-3 the Wolves tried to rally but they were having difficulty getting the ball out of their own half. Old Crow and Axe were combining well with new recruit JJ The Jet Plane to put pressure on the Wolves defence to secure possession in the attacking half and apply extreme pressure. This pressure ultimately led to a penalty when Micklediver was brought down just outside the penalty area. Even though this did not lead to a goal another penalty in similar circumstances a few minutes later saw former ace Wazz place the ball for a second penalty 30 metres from goal. Even though Wazz was unable to make solid contact, the ball deviated from the shoulder of a defender to take a track back to the goal and beat the helpless goalie who had already dived the other way.

At 4-2 the Wolves looked safely held but the Relics’ co-coaches were worried about the number of shots that were failing to find their mark. In what ultimately turned out to be a coaching master stroke noted defender Becks was moved to the attacking zone. It wasn’t long before the move paid dividends as Becks loomed onto a wayward cross from Wild Thing to fire a deliberate and decisive strike 40 metres from goal. The ball left Beck’s foot like an Exocet Missile quickly cannoning into the top right corner of the net. Onlookers delirious with delight were heard to say that no goal-keeper in football history could have stopped such a well-timed and targeted shot. Unfortunately the goal was not captured on camera but similar, albeit inferior, strikes can be found at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foCJDVTbYg

Beck’s goal broke the Wolves spirit. Soon after Hat landed a double and the Axeman ran into space to convert a neat goal.

The final score of 7-2 actually flattered the opposition but all in Relics colours seemed satisfied with their first hit out for the season.

While he was on the field Howler played well and Head was solid in defence. The best on field for the Relics, however, were without doubt Hat the ageless mystro Shadow.

Pink and Black- Not just for the Caviar !

Whilst Black with pink spots is popular for Black Caviar, today the Relics made a great fashion statement thanks to Grant. His organisation of the wrist sweatbands, one black for Statue, one Breast Cancer pink for Rosanna made me sook before the game, but we wore them proudly and I was unashamed to kiss my pink, along with a few others when I scored my first goal Words cannot express how delighted I was with everybodys reaction to my joy. Thanks Guys, but especially thanks Grant and Kathy for the hard work putting the packs together. I will wear mine for the rest of the season. I love you'se all.

Help

I really love playing with 13 players.
Thanks Statue and Rosie...

Line up 1 v Doylo, Sat 14

11:45am kick off on Frost 2.

Line up for this Monday.

An Error of Comedies (with apologies to the bard)

Aside from Posh ,Grant and Hat we're not a very literary bunch, however the game against the Gosford cavemen reminded me mostly of Shakespearean comedies viz:

"So I will turn his virtue into the pitch, and out of his goodness make the net",Othello Act 2, Scene 3
and more recently Victor Darchinyan, who after the Gosford keeper had retrieved the ball from out of bounds and set it at his feet for a goal kick, looked on bemusedly as Darchinyan raced in and kicked it into the net. Somehow our resident goal sneak had decided to take his craft to new heights, completely ignoring the fact that his team mates had retreated toward midfield for the Gosford goal kick! Side splittingly funny stuff. You had to be there !

"Better three hours too soon than a minute late", Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 2, Scene 2
or more recently, Posh, on discovering that he had been sitting at home, looking forward to Sundays game, when it was indeed played on Saturday.

"Oft Expectation fails and most oft here...,Alls Well that ends Well ,Act1, Scene 2

or more recently, Wiz and Phil after viewing their highly unsuccessful experiment to turn Tolly into a fullback

"for my part its all Greek.." Julius Caesar, Act 1, Scene 2

or more recently, The Relics when trying to understand Phil's game plan and charts.

However, with a comfortable 5-2 victory, one could say that "Alls Well that Ends Well" and that after the game the feeling was very much "Come Gentlemen, Lets Drink down all Unkindness, Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 1, Scene 1.

Finally I'm sure our brains trust is hoping that this will not "Be the winter of our Discontent"

Line up

Coaches & Managers Meeting- Season Info

Hi Guys.

Coaches and Managers meeting last night revealed the following points for the season:

• Frost open for passive training next two weeks only on Tuesdays and Thursdays
• Lights not expected until 2 April. We should be able to have two Wed nights before season starts
• Easter Monday (9th) practice match for us is likely. I will reapproach Wyoming
• Draw expected out on Thursday April 4.
• Expect our Wed night training allocation to be same spot (under lights) and time as last year
• Bar will continue to be open only on Premier Home games. Absolutely no team eskis (on any field) on these days
• AA6 and AA8 still seeking players. Let your friends know if they are right age group.
• Season launch at Kin Hotel this Friday night from 6.30 pm. Free food etc. Please make an effort to turn up and wear club gear

Kotter or Youth- Either way he's welcome back !

Guys.

Juts to confirm that Laurie Blair has accepted and will become the Relic's 19th registered player for the season. Laurie is an ex club president, but more importantly has the rare privilege of having played with Mick,Vic,Pete, Grant, Banker and myself. Hes a genuinely nice guy, and a pretty good footballer (once we get him fit).

I think he last played in 2006 and the club has been waiting for him to make a come back.

The signs appropriate (Laurie/Lorry) gettit ?

Holger Joins the Mick Dig

Believe it.

The Toll makes this weekend ring in ex A grade keeper (Mickledinho) cry.

Its another Adam and Goliath story, from 40 metres away an excellent strike from the rookie striker bullets to the top far post and into the net, embarrassing the professional keeper who could only stand and watched it go in.

As Mickledinho struggled for excuses, The Toll just showed him the finger and screamed words that can not be repeated on this Blog. Plenty of love lost here as usually very good friends will be arguing this event for years to come.

For The Roos

Thank you all for your company on Thursday. You are a bunch of nice guys.

( Did I say That? )

Soccer's here now I can tell you all where to go, how to do it, then tell you why you shouldn't have done it.
                                                 "No.1 Supporter"
                                                                  Flemo Mum

Tribute to Rosanna Fleming from Grant

It is with great sadness that I am writing of the loss of Steve Fleming's ( The Hat ) wife Rosanna on Thursday 15/3/2012.Rosanna was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive form of Breast Cancer just over twelve months ago.Some members of the team and the Kincumber Roos Football Club have known Rosie for fifteen years.In this time you could not miss her. When she turned up to games or Club functions there was no mistaking that chuckle and wicked sense of humour.If there was a function at the Flemings that laugh became louder and the humour more wicked.Those of us who received emails from her were also treated to other forms of entertainment.During the last twelve months Rosanna bore the various treatments and surgeries with dignity , grace and humour.There are not many people that many of us know that could have done the same.Having had a full weekend partying , dancing and catching up with friends Rosanna suddenly became ill and passed away peacefully.She will be greatly missed by a lot of friends , workmates , Club and Team members.Our condolences , thoughts and support go out to Steve , Alan , Kristy and Bec.

Training Until the Season Starts

The Club has just been advised by Gosford Council that this year, passive training areas will be made available to the club from 13 March. No lighting will be made available, no training if its wet, Fitness activities only. Kincumber Club has been allocated Davistown Oval with Seniors to use Tue,Wed and Thur nights from 6 pm to 7 pm.
I've told the club that we dont wish to use the option at this stage.
It also looks likely that we will get access to Frost earlier than normal and it may even be available on our spare weekend. I'm also talking to teams about a practice match at Frost on Easter Monday afternoon for those that won't be away.
Wed night training at East Gosford at 6pms still unless I update by mobile.

2012 M45B Competition Teams

Not yet fully confirmed, but preliminary teams for Mens 45B for 2012 are Kin, Avoca, Berkeley Vale, Doyalson and a new Woy Woy Team. Gosfod promoted to A's for winning the comp. A teams unknown but I've been told its a six team comp. Kincumber Allstars/ 35A combined team have nominated for 35Cs.

The Empresses new boots...

A stylish new look for posh this season. Custom made for day /evening wear. Will be a standout all season....

The Relics Form Guide

The Kincumber Relics have commissioned form guru Ken Callander to run his eye over the Relics for 2012 as they head into their first trial game this weekend. Ken’s form analysis reads:

Banker Boy Former top-liner who retains his zest for racing. Recent injuries have hampered his preparation for this campaign. Capable on his day and look to him when the going gets tough. Watch betting.
Belldale Ball Spirited gelding and former hurdler who is finding his feet on the flat. Comes to hand quickly and sprints well fresh. Usually plays in blinkers. Expect a bold showing.
Sulo Star Dour one-pacer suited to staying events. Will go all day (and night). Rumoured to have changed stables during his summer spell. Returns to racing after an unsuccessful stint at stud. Stays under notice.
Black Crowiar Veteran campaigner and stable star. Can quicken when whipped and will be full of running at the finish. Recently returned from a successful oversees campaign. Will make his presence felt.
Toe Jam Reliable conveyance who rarely puts in a bad run. Has been in training for some time and expect bold showing first up. Watch any market moves.
Bold Becks Impressively bred stallion with an exceptional strike rate. Stable star. Trained to the minute. Races handy and has won under all conditions. Go close.
Shadow Chaser Former Ascot and Doncaster star who has equipped himself well under Australian conditions. Capable of leading or taking a sit. Consistent performer who is well suited under the weight for age scale. Threat.
Rangiranghowler Spirited sprinter who is difficult to catch over the shorter trips. Can mix his form and usually needs a tight rein to produce his best. Look to him to improve his strike rate in 2012. Likes to lead .
Mr Blackbeard Under-rated performer who is at his best on fast tracks. Fitter for recent outings and likely to figure early. Has played well without luck in past preparations . Do not overlook.
Axe Mark Ungainly galloper with a big heart. Likes hard work. Comfortable in any conditions. Likely improver. Take on trust.
Head Butt Cheap buy from a Packenham ‘tried and true’ sale. Having his first season in the Relics stable and has shown some promise on the training track. Can tend to over race and expect his form to improve as the season progresses. Look to others.
Victorious Pint sized dynamo who has set the football field on-fire for many years. Multiple award winner who sets the standard for this age and grade. Expect a huge campaign. The one to watch.
Old Smokey Striking grey who has returned from stud duties. Renown for his powerful finishing burst at stud. Form has looked good on the training paddock and a strong showing is expected in 2012. Capable on his day.
The Fascinator Talented performer who is up in weights after some great performances in his last campaign. Suited to all conditions. Never runs a bad race.
Thewizthatwaz Seasoned performer who has had his share of injuries in recent outings. Looks to be carrying a bit of condition. Likely to need a few runs to find best form. Later.
The Rubber Rod One from the top draw. Versatile. Handy in the wet. Also likes it hard and fast. Responds well to the whip. Sure to be prominent.
Debbie Does Barrier rogue who is prone to pig root mid race. Brought down another runner at his last start. Returning from a short lay-off. Tongue-tie is off for this campaign. Likes to come from the rear. Watch market moves closely.
Mr Brady Having his first start for a new stable. Not seen in recent trials. Prefer to see. Looking elsewhere.

Ken Callander

A True Pommie- A Picture Tells a Thousand Words

Most of us don't notice our resident pom. Flying under the radar, he stealthily remains a shadow, pretending to dislike darts and to like cold beer, but some of us know better. His knowledge of English fourth division football clubs, spiky Adam Ant hairstyle and love of a cuppa tea give him away. And then there's his training get up. At our last Sunday training run he dazzled us all with his sartorial elegance, obviously straight from Saville Row. But most freakily can anyone else see the resemblance to the below super hero. Could we say, Captain England by day, shadow by night? Surely it's the same person, or maybe, only the shadow knows.....

Saturday Game and After Party

Hi Guys.

First trial match this Saturday at Narara Valley High school. Please be there by 12.30 for Relics shirt presentation, kick off 1pm. Opponents Kincumber 45D's- Simon, Kev, Muzz, Craig etc. We will be missing at least 3 players, possibly 4 so bring your game.

Also don't forget the Gosford Cavemen's band at the Rock & Roll night with $5 cover charge at Bill Sohier Hall, Shirley St Ourimbah from 6 pm till midnight. Food and drink available at cheap prices.

Go Relics